Presdients Acceptance speech - PTAT - 28/7/2016

Chief Guest, CA Giridhar Kamath, fellow toastmasters, family members, and guests,

Thank you Sharmila for watering the ground, and making it fertile, before I got up to speak. It makes my life easier and I like that kind of life!  Sagnik, young, dynamic, irreverent and our new area director of area 3, thank you for installing us in our respective offices.  It’s going to be a long year  with many challenges, but right now, Molly,  Savitha, Bharathi, Preetham, Vidya, Sushil and the effervescent Dr. Ballal, all of us are euphoric, and hopefully the euphoria will remain for at least some time to come, if not the entire year.  It’s wonderful to be a part of such a wonderful gathering of toastmasters, let alone address them as the president of an advanced club. It’s my first experience, and I am learning on the fly.

Water, is the source of life - 65% of our body is made of water, 2/3rds of the Earth’s surface is water and we are desperately trying to find it on mars. But it’s close to us... We are the Port Town Advanced Toastmaster’s Club. As a port town we are on the water's edge, and as an advanced Club, we float on it and like water, we find our own level that is often above the other clubs! We don’t need what they call lift irrigation. That’s the connection with the theme of today.

My research tells me that there are several clubs with water in their name,  To name a few: Yarra Valley Water Toastmasters Club, Clean Water Toastmasters club, Talk on the water Toastmasters Club, Brisbane Water Breakfast Toastmasters Club, Waters Edge Toastmasters Club and interestingly one called Water Meeters  (spelt Meeters) Toastmaster Club.

Public Speaking originally started with the Ancient Greek Orators, and while society, culture and technology have evolved the process tremendously, the foundations of public speaking as a form of communication to a group of people remains intact.  A good speaker can deliver a bad message well, and an advanced speaker can do it very well...while an average speaker can manage to remain unnoticed despite a great message. Naturally the purpose of chartering an advanced club is to create good speakers, but good speakers with good messages.

The Port town Advanced Toastmasters Club was chartered two years ago, and is among the more successful clubs in Mangalore because it has stuck to its vision of enabling speakers to pursue higher levels of speaking skills.

Some of the benefits that have accrued to members in the last couple of years include stronger evaluations, specialty speeches such as Panel Discussions, Brainstorming sessions, Oratory speeches, and Roasting speeches with equivalence in evaluations, diversity in membership, that bring their parent clubs culture to the melting pot, a self-driven sense of purpose, where the drive for goal accomplishment is from within and there is no pressure but to improve, and most important of all in my opinion, Higher and tougher standards. An advanced club is a community of self-driven highly motivated individuals with common goals, and once in their midst, the world is your oyster.

Change is the order of the world, from the day it began to the day it ends, for the end is in itself a change, from the previous state of being. Today, is also a day of change. When the previous gives way to the next. I don’t want to use the words Old and new. They are passe. Change is endearing because it creates new avenues for growth, for success and even for failure. But let’s not be negative. My blood group is B+ and that’s what I am.

As I take over the reins of the club, I rest assured that I have a great team to back me up, for after all a captain is only as good as his team. Savitha, The VPE, is strength and experience with a smile. My ask Savitha kind of person. The VP Membership, DTM Bharathi Shevgoor, is the sagacious one and I miss her sagacity today. But I love the idea that she is part of the team, and I can pick her brains and her dictionary, any time I am stuck for progress.  Preetam, the bubbly counsellor and trainer, technically and psychologically savvy, is the VP PR. Excellent PR skills, widely respected and very very erudite, she is the articulate jekyll to my reticent Hyde!

Then there is Vidya Shenoy, the secretary. Successful business person, efficient, and a marathoner, she is in for the long haul - She will bring a sense of humor to the role, which direly needs such humor.  Let me give you an example of her recent face book posts: "Don’t worry about people think... they don’t do it often. 

Sushil Gupta, my good ol friend, indeed a friend to al in the TM fraternity is the quintessential reliable guy.  A man who loves and understands figures, (the real ones) and a keen follower of Gandhiji (he appears on all the notes) he is right man for the treasurer post. Tight fisted, because his role demands so, he will keep us within our budgets, without a need for a TM Kalyan Cess in the course of the year.

And last but not the least, is Dr. CK Ballal, renowned neuro surgeon, the Sergeant at Arms. I hardly knew him till very recently, and now that I have entered his neurons, I will find it difficult to extricate myself - A powerful but pleasant, busy but helpful, influential but down to earth personality like no other I’ve met before.

The Immediate past president, Molly Chaudhuri, has endeared herself to the entire PTAT membership, the Division and the District with her outstanding leadership last year, and I am glad to have her sage advice this year. Then there is our Area Director, Sagnik, our Div. Director Poorvi and of course our very own fountain of knowledge and wisdom DTM Malini Hebbar, who this year will be the District Admin. Manager to fall back on in case we stumble....

With this team and back up, and kind of family support that all our families give us toastmasters, I am confident that we can face the many challenges that the Club will face during the year which include the problem of the cost of dual membership, which impacts the induction of new members and retention of existing members, monitoring and persuading members to fulfill educational and leadership goals, and making club meetings interesting.  There is also the challenge of attaining the required DCP points, winning the various awards that the club is eligible for and the like.  Whatever be the challenges I remain confident that we will face them head on, overcome them and take the club to newer heights. It is with this confidence that I want to handover to the outgoing President a promise of leadership from the entire team which states as follows:

We, the office-bearers of the Port Town Advanced Toastmasters Club, Mangalore, together promise to, 

1.     Prepare for and conduct the club meetings as per the schedule decided.

2.     Work towards securing for the club and its members the maximum awards on offer by Toastmasters International.

3.     Treat our fellow club members and guests with respect and courtesy.

4.     Ensure that the club maintains the positive, friendly environment necessary for all members to learn and grow.

5.     Provide new members with an outstanding new member experience when they join.

6.     Help members prepare their speech and leadership projects in the best possible way.

7.     Adhere to the guidelines of Toastmasters international in all that we do.

8.     Maintain high ethical standards during the conduct of all Toastmasters activities

Thank You.

Filling the vaccuum

After an exhausting installation ceremony of a toastmasters club, the Port Town Toastmasters Club, I was sitting along with two other fellow toastmasters,  exchanging pleasantries, when, as they concentrated on their fruit cake and jelabi's, I fell silent, eyes open staring into space.  Another fellow toastmaster, walked up to me and said, what are you doing? You look like you are in the labor waiting room and you've just got the news that your wife has delivered triplets!  I was shocked and for a minute I actually believed her. For I was far away from the venue where the function was held, literally in a blank funk!

I am a dreamer, but not of dreams. I tend to drift into space, not on a rocket, but on a cycle, pedaling away in a vacuum. There is no road, nothing on either side and no light at the end of the tunnel. My expression is vacant - I am there and yet I am not. I know it, and yet I find it difficult to restrain myself from doing that. For something to hold me in the here and now, would require me to be in a dangerous situation of life and death, and then too I am not sure whether I would be in the Netherlands! Amsterdam is a nice place I find!

My wife and kids constantly tease me about my condition as they call it. I don’t notice when they have a haircut, or what clothes they wear, so long as they wear them, and often they talk about me when I am in the room, confident that I will not register what they are saying. But the condition is not so bad. One ear does pick up my name, though I often feign ignorance - fueling the myth of my condition! For my own reasons.  It’s called selective hearing. One often develops this condition a few years into marriage perhaps, but I guess I had what these insurance advisors call a preexisting condition.

At a birthday party of a friend - I must have been in College then -, we were seated in circle, on sofas or chairs.  I was sitting at the edge of one of the sofas and next to me was a teapoy on which I had kept my glass. I picked it up for a sip and kept holding it for a moment thereafter, oblivious of my surroundings.  A little while later, I kept my glass down on the teapoy. But the teapoy was no longer there as it had been taken away. The glass shattered. They say there's no harm in day dreaming, but there is.

But I wonder why I do it. Why do I have ‘the condition’ as I call it? Daydreaming allows me to play out scenarios where I miraculously save the day. I play out scenarios in my head that are kind of crazy, and then I personally, heroically resolve them. Instead of being ordinary Brian Fernandez, attending to my daily routine, I am faraway on a star trek, a hero to someone somewhere, but remain a guy here on earth who looks like he had triplets.  Now both are pleasurable I am sure, though I haven’t experienced the latter and it may be too late for it.

Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose says Bo Bennett and I reassure myself that I am on the right track, but I am jolted from the reality when I try to start my bike with the car keys or wear my T shirt inside out. But what takes the cake is applying toothpaste instead of shaving cream. 

The Condition - Speech at Toastmasters

After an exhausting installation ceremony of the Port Town Toastmasters Club, I was sitting along with Area Director Sagnik and Division Director Poorvi, exchanging pleasnatries, when, as they concentrated on their fruit cake and jelabi's, I fell silent, eyes open staring into space.  Preetham, our VP PR came up to me and said, what are you doing? You look like you are in the labor waiting room and you've just got the news that your wife has delivered triplets!  I was shocked and for a minute I actually believed her. For I was faraway from the BMS hotel where the function was held, literally in a blank funk!

I am a dreamer, but not of dreams. I rarely get them. I tend to drift into space, not on a rocket, but on a cycle, pedalling away in a vacuum. There is no road, nothing on either side or no light at the end of the tunnel. My expression is vacant - I am there and yet I am not. I know it, and yet I find it difficult to restrain myself from doing that. For something to hold me in the here and now, would require me to be in a dangerous situation of life and death, and then too I am not sure whether I would be in the Netherlands! I am told Amsterdam is nice place!

My wife and kids constantly tease me about my condition as they call it. I don’t notice when they have a haircut, or what clothes they wear, so long as they wear them, and often they talk about me when I am in the room, confident that I will not register what they are saying. But the condition is not so bad, one ear does pick up my name, though I often feign ignorance - fueling the myth of my condition! Its called selective hearing. One often develops this condition a few years into marriage perhaps, but I guess I had what these insurance advisors call a preexisting condition.

But I think I developed it long before.  At a birthday party of a friend, I must have been in College then, we were seated in circle, on sofas or chairs. Next to each of the sofas, were teapoys or small stools to keep the glasses - soft drinks mind you - we were holding and bowls of snacks. I was sitting at the edge of one of the sofas and next to me was a teapoy on which my glass was kept. I picked it up for a sip and kept holding it for a moment thereafter, and fell back into my lost stupor. A little while later, I kept my glass down on the teapoy. But the teapoy was no longer there as it had been taken away. The glass shattered and everybody yelled at me. I felt like sheep on the way to its slaughter.  They say there's no harm in day dreaming, but there is.

In fact I was an ordinary student, not a terrible student because I was often day dreaming. Still, I managed to get into college, but my daydreaming threatened to sabotage me. I used behavior modification to break the cycle. I started by setting an arbitrary time limit on studying: for every 15 minutes of study, I'd allow myself an hour of daydreaming. I set the alarm and I cleared college, my CC CL ACB ALB. Not bad?

But I wonder why I do it. Why do I have the condition? Daydreaming allows me to play out scenarios where you miraculously save the day. I play out scenarios in my head that are kind of crazy, and then I personally, heroically resolve them. Instead of being ordinary Brian Fernandez, attending to my daily routine, I am faraway on a star trek, a hero to someone somewhere, but remain a guy here on earth who looks like he had triplets to those who are looking at me. Now both are pleasurable I am sure, though I haven’t experienced the latter and it may be too late for it.

Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose says Bo Bennett and I reassure myself that I am on the right track, but I am jolted from the reality when I try to start my bike with the car keys or wear my T shirt inside out. But what takes the cake is applying toothpaste instead of shaving cream. 

I’m sure all of this will get better as I get older, and I can already feel it. Toastmasters has helped in this regard very much. I am now able to make a full speech with confidence, even though my mind is on mars.

I am a nice guy - Speech at Toastmasters,,,

I am a nice guy. That’s what my wife says. That’s because I am nice to her – most of the time.

I remember when we first got married, many eons ago it seems now, and we moved out of our respective houses to a place in blore, we were on our own for the first time, and there was no hotel worth its salt nearby.

I knew to fry cutlets, but I didn’t know how to make them, so I left it to her to rustle up something for dinner after the cleaning process, which we had undertaken the whole day was over.

Dinner was ready, I was ready. We sat down to eat. She insisted I say the prayer before meals that both of us were taught separately, but now had to say together, in the hope that the Almighty might bless what we were about to eat.

Perhaps he didn’t hear the prayer, or maybe it was too late. I suspect the latter and I hoped fervently that he would perform that wine miracle with the water on the table. But I forgot – I was already married.

As I put the first mouthful of my dinner in my mouth, I turned to my wife and asked – You followed a recipe? She said seriously. Yes. My own. Why is it not nice? It is I said. Just a little salt would have helped. Come on, don’t be sarcastic. It’s not nice I know. I said but it’s nice. She said you are lying. I said no, its nice. She said I don’t believe you. Yes it is, and I am saying it because I am a nice guy. That was it – I got the cold shoulder, the silent treatment and no meals for a couple of days.

I am a nice guy, because We're taught from a very early age that being nice is a virtue. From the time we were infants, our parents told us to "be nice."

They taught us to be polite and to share, and to be considerate and kind. For the most part, it's good advice. Society depends upon civility to function and relationships require mutual respect. However, one can be too nice and when you're too nice, people tend to take advantage of you — women included.

I always thought being nice is a virtue until someone told me I was too nice – She said – Don’t be nice, be naughty, youll have great relationships. She also told me how to recognize the fact. Good Advice.

1- You're too respectful

In most social situations, good manners and respect for other people will get you pretty far, but your spouse wants you to be demanding, not always, but on occasions.  She wants a gentleman, but longs for a tiger.  Be one – with restraint….

2- You're too interested

You are too interested in what your partner is doing or going to do than yourself. Initially its fine but it can make you a boring and irritating individual. Get interested in yourself – demand your space and respect hers – that’s what she wants. But don’t call your friends home too often to watch the IPL over a bottle of beer.

3- You're too complimentary

She’s looking terrible, or has dressed terribly or has a bad headache, and you say, you are looking good, when both she and you know she is not. You're being too nice. Every woman loves to be complimented, but every woman also wants your compliments to be genuine. Be authentic, not nice.

4- You're too understanding

She is mean to the neighbor because she is angry, and you have a different point of view. You back her fully – because you are understanding. That's great, but one can be too understanding and that's another one of the signs you're too nice.

5- You're too cheerful

You are always cheerful, with a smile on your face. If you're smiling and cheery all the time, you're too nice. Everyone gets pissed off once in a while. More to the point, sometimes anger is a completely justifiable response.

You need to be nice, yes and I’ve given you tips to realize when you are too nice. The key is to be authentic, not merely nice. Ignore Politically Correct Behavior, be selfish, be critical, be judgmental, and show anger every once in a while – She will know that you are genuine and capable of expression of feeling.

 Let  me end with an example that will frame it for you.

Getting back to the years of yore – when we got married, we lived on the second floor of a rudimentary apartment complex and like it is now – there was a water shortage.  So I requested my parents to send a drum from home whch promptly arrived by lorry – cpc I think it was. My wife had a moped and being the kind of bindaas couple we were, we picked it up on the moped – She was riding and I was riding shotgun, drum in hand -  it was huge. Close to home, she braked when on a narrow road, she saw a rather large on coming vehicle and we both fell together with the drum on top of me. Bystanders didn’t have mobiles then, so they rushed to help, and helped her up and left me to get up by myself and dust myself off.  I can tell you I was not nice. I was not respectful, complimentary, understanding or cheerful. And being in the position I was, not too interested in her situation.

But on this occasion in stark contrast to her usual authentic self, she was really nice – She could afford to be.

The heart of talent and its managment...

Do you believe you have talent? Yes? If so, why are you stagnant while your friend or colleague is ahead in the race of life? Is it because he has more of it than you? Or do you have none at all? Or has he marshalled it better?

The origin of talent

Maybe, maybe not. Talent is simply a natural aptitude or skill for a specific activity. Some of its synonyms are flair, aptitude, facility, gift, and knack. These synonyms give us a better understanding of the term talent. So the answer is, most likely yes, for in my book, talent is the product of primarily genetic factors, three of them in fact - Personality orientation, Body Type and Intelligence Type. Consequently, each one of us is born with some talent or the other, repressed or undiscovered.

Our Body Types predict the type of talent that lies deep within us - All of us are either Ectomorphs, Mesomorphs or Endomorphs, again a genetic origin. Ectomorphs are characterized by lean and long bodies and have difficulty building muscle. Endomorphs are big made, often pear-shaped, and have a high tendency to store body fat. Mesomorphs on the other hand are muscular and well-built, with a high metabolism and responsive muscle cells. Obviously, talented athletes will fall in either the first or the last category, while intellectuals can come from any of the three. Wrestlers will necessarily be mesomorphs, while a fast bowler can never be and Endomorph.

Like the body type, there is no dispute that intelligence is mostly inherited, its seven types classified early last century  - Naturalist, Musical, Logical – Mathematical, Existential, Interpersonal, Bodily Kinesthetic, Linguistic, Intra-personal, and Spatial. Of three dimensions of talent, intelligence type is the clear winner in the talent stakes for it clearly determines in which direction the individual will go - it guides the personality orientation too. It can’t do much about the body type in which it is housed, but generally, science has ensured that both of these are well coordinated. For instance an individual with bodily kinesthetic intelligence as a dominant intelligence will not normally be an endomorph and so on.

Each of our personalities are oriented in a particular direction - We adopt this orientation to deal with a situation - Commander, Competitor, Developer, Maximizer, Postivitivist, Wooer.  These orientations have a lot to do with genetics for they depend in some way or the other on our intelligence type, rather than upbringing, though upbringing might shape the personality and its orientation to some extent.  

What is talent?

So is Talent, just tall intent, or a strength?  How can we define it? Talents are naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling, or behavior that can be productively applied. A strength on the other hand is the ability to consistently provide near-perfect performance in a specific activity.  So talent is not a strength and a strength is more useful and powerful than talent. How can we convert one to the other? Its simple addition. Genetics which gives rise to Talent + Desire which gives rise to passion + Hard work which gives rise to practice + environment which provides support.  All of these must be in tandem, feeding and building on each other to deliver to its driver, a strength which he can consistently apply to win fame, money and / or provide a unique service. Sachin Tendulkar is a prime example. Vijender Singh the boxer, is another one, as is Leander Paes, or for that matter our Prime Minister Narendra Modi.

Talent Management in Organizations:

Two questions arise. Why do organizations need talent? And having got what they need, why do they have to manage it? The first part of this article informed us that talent alone is useless. However Talents, skills, and knowledge, creates a strength. But talent is the key, for it cannot be acquired, unlike skills and knowledge. For example, as a salesperson you can learn your products' features (knowledge), you can be trained to ask the right open-ended questions (a skill), and you can practice making a sale (investment).  However, the innate tendency to push a customer to commit at exactly the right moment, in exactly the right way must be naturally occurring and cannot be learned. It is also clearly the difference between a bathroom singer and an Indian Idol!  Talent provides organizations with the competitive edge and it is for this reason, that talent needs to be acquired, maintained and retained and most organizations struggle with this. It is this struggle that is often referred to as talent Management - the management of people with special innate abilities that are the key to the organization's competitive success!

Key Roles vs Key Persons:

Talent lies within people, not within the roles. In an organization hierarchy, several management roles have been created, each one to supervise and guide more people than the rest, with the ultimate supervisor, sitting at the top.  But the key to the success of the person sitting at the top, is possibly a guy sitting in the middle or the grunt worker at the bottom.  For he may have the ability to manage a myriad issues, ensuring that output is at its peak. He may be where he is on the hierarchical ladder, because, he lacks one of the three factors that convert a talent into a strength - Desire, Hard work or a supportive environment.  I recall, in my previous organization, my assistant, was a dynamic person, who was the first line of approach of employees seeking redressal from the management - because he was the fountain of all regulatory knowledge - it was a special talent he had.  His role was not very important, but he was, and that was the difference. Other companies would have gladly hired him in a similar or better role, to the detriment of our Company, if we didn’t go out of our way to retain him, the person!

Basically Talent Management is a process, which believes that from sourcing to reward (branding, recruitment, onboarding, alignment, assessment, coaching, recognition and retention), each process must recognize and nurture talent's special needs, sometimes pampering, sometimes disciplining, but always keeping a watchful eye on it, to ensure that organization brings out the best in people with talent, while retaining it.  This strategy, formulated in board rooms, must be translated on the ground, so that talent feels it, and enjoys its fruits, else it will fail.

Hr professionals and CEO's were polled recently on the critical Global talent priorities (deloitte global human capital trends). The survey threw up interesting trends. The top five talent priorities were 1. Plugging Leadership Gaps 2. Reskilling Hr (they are outdated in their approach to talent management) 3. Talent acquisition and access - This was a major concern as talent is no longer easily available as retention efforts grow 4. Talent & HR Analytics - A new and growing field - very important in large organizations, where talent serves under the thumb of his boss, and is easily suppressed, and 5. The overwhelmed employee - employee burn out due to an all work and no play concept.  These priorities stem from the fact that the millennial worker is different in many ways from his previous century predecessor - He is more able, mobile and informed. He is more of a risk taker and wants to be wooed because he believes he is valuable. This makes a strong case for innovative engagement practices.

Strong Engagement Practices

These include Meaningful work (Autonomy, Selection to fit, Small Teams, Time for Slack), Great leadership (Smart and quick goal setting, Coaching and Feedback, Leadership Development, and a modern Performance appraisal system), Great Environment (Flexible and humane work environment, Recognition rich culture, Open work spaces, Inclusive and diverse HR culture), Growth opportunities (Accelerated and facilitated talent recognitions and mobility, multiple career growth paths, Self-development, A great learning culture where mistakes are encouraged), and finally creating a  trust in leadership ( A clearly articulated vision and mission, transparency in communication and leadership charisma and honesty).

In all of this perhaps accelerated and facilitated talent recognitions and mobility are the key to talent retention. There are many ways to do this, but personally I favor the 9 Box method of talent recognition and mobility, it helps identify talent early and provides the organizations with the opportunity to create appropriate paths for its top talent.  Talent Management is all about innovation and a talented talent manager can make a difference.

Conclusion

What is the use of talent if you don't put it to use? Recall the parable of the talents from the Bible. Through this parable, Jesus sought to explain that God has given each of us some talent or another, most of which are buried deep within - Sometimes we don’t recognize them, and we do, we do not put them to use for the service of others - for that is what they have been given to us for. It’s only when we use them that they multiply, or for that matter, bear fruit! There a few takeaways from that parable related to the concept of talents 1. We are not all created equal - Our talents differ. 2. God always gives us everything we need to do (Talents) what he has called us to do. 3. Success is a product of our work - We need to use the talents that we have been given. 4. We must not work for our own selfish purposes - Always use our talents in the service of others and 5. We will be held accountable by the giver of these talents - so beware.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

Last Sunday, I looked in the mirror and decided that I needed a hair cut.   Streaks of grey were visible through the darkness around. Stubble abounded. There were many other things that came to mind that called for action, when I looked into the mirror, but this was one thing I could do something about with only a strain on the pocket.

Soon after breakfast, I walked up the road on the way to my regular wool shearer, Mamatha’s hair cutting saloon, when I noticed a bright red board in a new building. It said Ctb’s skin and hair salon. I gave it thought, but I was scared, that when I came out I would be singing the falsetto.

Nevertheless it was exciting that there are other options, and I recalled that I had come across one on the way to work. A unisex Salon. That’s what was written boldly across the front of the shop.  I wondered what that was – never got into one before, coz I always wondered how I would come out - in what form.  Whether I’d be in one of those new categories that they celebrate at parades.  I was conservative, but trying not to be and I would have given it a try, but for the name - It was called “Blunt”

As I looked up at this new building I saw two other salons. They seemed to have mushroomed.  One with a rather big red board – called Curves. Why all salons I came across had red boards was a mystery. The ‘Blunt’ one too had its share of red.   I liked it but I had a choice to make, for next to it was another smaller board, it too advertised its services – Hair spa. That was new.  It was called Craves. I wondered, if I entered Craves, I would crave the curves, or if I chose the curves, my wife would come looking for me.

I made up my mind. I would go to my regular saloon. It’s called Mamatha’s hair cutting saloon.  It was a saloon I could identify with because of the name. I once knew a girl by that name, but that is not why I went there.  It was the one saloon nearest home, and I got a decent trim at decent price, with one qualification – Whether they cut it short or medium, it costs the same.

I had been coming here ever since I remember. As I neared it I looked at the board, I noticed it had changed – it was now called Mamatha’s Hair Salon. It was keeping up with the competition.  The Saloon had become Salon and the interior had been spruced up. It was airconditioned and the price had doubled. One thing had not changed though, it was still not co-ed. 

Having come in I did not want to exit. Besides I had nowhere else to go. So I sat down in an available chair, examined myself in the mirror, looking this way and that. The barber, a guy I had not seen earlier, with what they call the wedge cut came up to me and asked the age old question, short, medium or long. That had me in a spot, I wondered how you have a long hair cut!  Short I said…. And he said Sir Wedge? Machine? I said no, normal. And he started.

At the end of it all, though I paid double, I was glad.  I didn’t crave the curves and bluntly rejected ctb’s for Mamatha!

Saving H2O - the key to avoiding conflict

June 5th, is world environment day.

I no longer hear the chirping of birds in my backyard when I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock. And that in itself is an anomaly, for in the past I was woken up by the chirping of birds; I didn’t need an alarm clock.
Today the world, or at least world leaders, (the populations have their own personal worries) are worried essentially about 3 issues - Terrorism, economic growth and climate change.  Evidence shows that all the three are related. 

Terrorism is born out of the individual denial of the fruits of economic growth.  And economic growth is stalled by the degradation of the environment (Agricultural Production is down and therefore consumption). 

In the past it was believed that it was necessary to destroy the environment to generate economic growth. But slowly it has dawned on the powers that be that development must co-exist with the environment.

Evidence indicates that of the three concerns, the environment is the key to the other two and yet it is the first to be dumped at the altar of progress. The reason is simple: pecuniary and other advantages accrue and are visible to the environment degrader within in his / her life time and there is a lot of support from the regulatory framework for the same.

Already, Donald Trump the US presumptive republican presidential nominee has promised to torpedo the Paris Climate Change Agreement that was arrived at after a decade’s painstaking negotiations by more than 160 countries.

According to the Environmental Protection Index (2016), India currently ranks 141 out of 178 countries, which indicates the poor state of environment in our country.  It’s the abysmal level of air, ground and water pollution that is creating this ranking for India.

Air Pollution is growing from the burning of fossil fuels (now more than ever required if make in India is to be a success), to the growing number of Diesel automobiles on the road, as the penny wise, pound foolish middle class competes against each other for more comforts, including washing machines, refrigerators, larger led screens and mobiles, to the IT industry with its numerous computers and telecom towers emitting radiation.  Four of the 10 cities in the world with the worst air pollution are in India. Almost 90% of the cities monitored have air quality below the WHO standards for Particulate Matter (PM10 and PM2.5).  

But more importantly it is the depleting water table and the water pollution in what’s left of the water sources that we have that is killing this planet and its people. Rivers and lakes, the main water sources of most countries in the world, other than the gulf, which can afford to desalinate sea water because of its oil reserves, often bear the brunt of run offs of household sewage (treated and untreated), industrial effluents (mostly treated, but not enough – take the case of the Bellandur lake in Bengaluru) and agriculture pesticide.  Half the Indian Population defecates in the open, and there is a very high risk of fecal contamination in the ground water table, adversely affecting the health of the population and making the remaining water sources unusable.  Landfills and their treatment are another cause for concern. Recent fires in Mumbai are a direct result of open air combustion and unscientific operation of landfills. India produces more than 1,30,000 tons of waste per day including domestic, bio-medical, industrial, e-waste and toxic waste. All pointers to a barren future that escapes our vision, because it is not the here and now.

However, while pollution dominates the discourse on the world environment day, of more relevance, is the depleting water table all over the country, but more so in urban areas.  The elimination of trees to widen roads, construction activity and consumption by high rises with numerous occupants that have migrated from villages which are already water deficient, the growth of water guzzling capital intensive industries, and a lack of conservation among all these entities have contributed to this phenomenon which will greatly impact our society in the future.  We have already had a taste of what is to come this summer.

It is here that two simple methods of rejuvenating the water table can be adopted by most high rises, institutions and industries and in fact must be made mandatory by law.

1. Recharging the ground water table: Diverting all water usage in Bathrooms (other than toilets) and kitchens, cleaned floors etc. into the ground away from water sources like bore wells or wells. For this the regular water harvesting method, sans the bore well, can be adopted -  All that is needed are 6’ (Depth) x 6’ (Diameter) pits filled with consecutive 1’ layers of 40 Mm jelly, Tile bits or charcoal – whichever is easier to obtain and sand.  Into these pits waste water can be diverted through pipes.  In fact if this is made compulsory based on land area and built up area, the whole city would benefit, for this is a year round recharging methodology that is not dependent on the monsoon.  The Costs, depending on labor and material costs are unlikely to exceed Rs: 65,000  per pit, give or take a little.

2. Recharging Bore wells: Diverting Roof water runoffs during monsoon into pits similar to those above. This can be done into the pits crafted for regular use, or specifically created around bore wells (which will have holes in its casing to absorb the water inflow) so that they may be recharged. Here too costs are unlikely to exceed Rs: 80000 per pit.

I recall that in the early days of my career, I would often approach my superiors with a problem.  One of them always asked the same question after listening patiently to what I had to my woes – Are you a part of the problem or a part of the solution?  The answer to that question has always helped me solve many a problem.

Today, all of us – the government, and the citizenry must move from being a part of the problem to being a part of the solution.. if we do not want to fight the next war, with our neighbours, whoever they may be, over water.

- See more at: http://www.newskarnataka.com/features/saving-h2o-the-key-to-avoiding-conflict#sthash.OazWHfNr.dpuf

Why Ring? I'll What's App you..

My son got engaged to an enchanting girl at the beginning of the New Year, on World peace day!  I was requested by his fiancée to say a few words on the occasion… and I was pleased to be offered an opportunity to give him a piece of my mind, that too by his fiancée.  So there I was center stage after they had exchanged rings in a brief engagement ceremony.  As I took stage, my son got agitated, wondering if I’d toast him or roast him.

I began by asking the couple, to hold hands till I finish. They frowned, but did it. I then asked them, what in hell were they doing, getting engaged on world peace day?

I told his friends, that even though I put my arm around him often, I was not privy to all of his secrets.  They heaved a sigh of relief. I then revealed one. The couple often pursued their romance at my brother’s house, and it was he who tattled. As they were leaving his abode one day, she asked him to give her a ring. He replied – Why ring? I’ll Whatsapp you!. He realized his mistake pretty fast, for here he was with a ring - a real solitaire....not a ‘smart phony’ (Smart phone) one.

Addressing his fiancée, I said, my son knows how to handle women, and make them dote on him. Her eyes widened in fear. What was I about to reveal?

Just that, he was given birth to by one, was brought up in the laps of 11 others,  and was doted on by his maternal grandmother (a mother of 15, 12 girls and 3 boys) who is 93 and was at the venue to check out the new woman in his life!  She could’ve sent her blessings by whatsapp, on which she keeps herself abreast of her children’s, grand children’s and great children’s and son in law’s shenanigans, but she didn’t. Dutifully, still holding hands they went down to her seat and received her blessings and possibly well hidden secrets to a flock of kids…

I then went to a little secret of my own - A little while before the love birds decided to feather a nest, I found myself in a dilemma.  My daughter, four years younger than the bridegroom, opened a line of conversation that was headed into forbidden territory.  “Dada , I want a sister”, she said.  We were very giving parents, but some things were beyond us.  So I said,  “Tell your brother to find you one. She did, and the rest is history!

I concluded with these words, “It was Michael Leunig who said “Love one another and you will be happy.  It's as simple and as difficult as that”, and  in explanation,  I told them that the longer they held hands, the less chance there was, that the rings would fall off.

They smiled,  but kept holding hands till they had to break apart and shake mine!

Human being to Human bomb - Inside the mind of a terrorist

Nimisha, a young pregnant woman who converted to Islam, is among a group of 15 people from Kerala suspected to have joined Islamic State for terrorist activity reports Rediff.com and the Indian Express. Earlier she had won prizes for Indian classical dance (Mohiniattam and the Bharatanatyam) and music. She changed her name to Fatima and married Issa, a Christian who also converted to Islam, and then disappeared from her home.

Merlin alias Mariyam, a woman from Kochi working in Mumbai at IBM, was one among the fifteen. She too converted to Islam before getting married to Issa's brother Yahiya. They too are missing from their homes. Issa and Yahiya’s father Vincent, filed a missing person’s complaint on the 9th of July 2016. The last their families have heard was that both couples were in Sri Lanka.

The families are extremely pained but helpless. Nimisha, who like most Indian daughters, had been extremely close to her mother in the past did not reveal the changes that were taking place in her life. The mother says the family was not aware of the changes in her, and the college authorities did not inform them of the same, or else her current situation could perhaps have been prevented.

Terror in Bangladesh and Kashmir

In another case of terror in the Bangladesh capital Dhaka,a majority of the assailants, who participated in the July 1 shooting and assault on patrons of an upmarket café in a posh area of Dhaka, were from well-to-do and educated families. They were in the age group of 20-22 and used weapons like machetes to kill the hostages. It was a mind boggling and a mind numbing attack in one. All of them had bright careers ahead of them. They went to top schools and universities. They seemed like normal, middle-class men. Faiz Sobhan of the Dhaka-based think tank Bangladesh Enterprise Institute says "They were normal, regular guys who hung out at cafes, played sports, and had Facebook pages." Bangladesh Information and Broadcasting Minister Hassan-ul-Haq Inna told Indian broadcaster NDTV that the attackers "were from a top school and university in Dhaka ... The parents of these boys are normal and have secular credentials."

Closer home, a high school headmaster’s son, 21 year old Burhan Wani was shot dead along with two others by security forces in Kashmir on the 8th of July. Wani’s death triggered off a violent reaction in Kashmir, leading to eight more casualties and a wave of protests that have yet to die down. He was the head of the terror group Hizbul Mujhaheden in Kashmir. He had joined the organization when he was fifteen.

Burhan was the poster boy of terror. Young, handsome, macho, with gun slung around his shoulders, giving him an aura of invincibility, he was popular on social media, and used it for recruitment. He became a cult figure of sorts. But like all the others, before he joined the terror league he was an ordinary adolescent, and a bright student at school. According to Scroll.in, he was also a cricket fan, with Shahid Afridi and Virender Sehwag being two of his favourite players.

His recruitment into the terror league was, reports suggest, prompted by the alleged killing of his elder brother Khalid in an “encounter” in 2015. His mutilated corpse was returned to his family by the authorities.

Inside the mind of a terrorist

Three separate and disparate cases of gender neutral terror and terrorists, with one common link -All the alleged terrorists are youngsters in the age group of 15 to 30 and seem to have been ‘influenced’. But is that really true? It’s a question that puzzles many.

Are terrorists crazy or psychopaths without any feeling for another’s life or pain? Unlikely. Research through interviews with current and former terrorists from the same background has shown that psychopathology and personality disorders are not more likely among terrorists than among non-terrorists.

There is corroborating evidence to this research conclusion. None of us, ‘normal’ human beings - non-terrorists- want to depend upon people with abnormal psychopathology for our lives. Similarly terrorists, who generally hunt in groups, would also not want to their lives in the hands of people with any psychopathology to speak of. Of course there is always the lone gunman like in Orlando, and in Nice who kill for political or religious causes, and such individuals may indeed suffer from some form of psychopathology.

However in general, it must be concluded that terrorists in groups, especially groups that can organize successful attacks on their chosen targets, are normal human beings who seek identity, meaning purpose and security in small groups. In fact, terrorism would not have been difficult to combat, if a terrorist could be associated with a particular psychopathology.

So what makes them who they end up being, and do what they do? Kill people without a thought spared for their own or anyone else’s pain? There is only one answer - A search for identity and of meaning and purpose in their lives that goes beyond 'well-being' or 'success' as we know it.

Prevailing social and economic systems encourage us to think of ‘well-being’ or ‘success’ in terms of being successful professionally and financially. Our status in society is measured by that yardstick. So we end up performing repetitive and monotonous tasks to achieve this ‘success’.

Many are often ‘successful’, but unhappy and empty on the inside. This emptiness is a vacuum waiting to be filled by the sense of righteousness and purpose that religious fundamentalism or economic deprivation or social discrimination easily provides – a cause and a comrade ready to die for, or to kill for. And then there are those who are not ‘successful’. They are ready and primed for terror.

Most people stick to their routines ignoring the emptiness inside, but for others, especially those at a vulnerable age, and those who have achieved poor personal success, a cause worth living for, and even dying for is easily created and a terrorist is born. They know they are going to die one day, as all of us do, and they would like to make their life meaningful beyond the routine imposed upon them, by societal norms of success.

How is this done? By objectification of people, other than those in their closed secure group, based on their actions, beliefs and cultural ethos – they learn to believe that these people are to be treated as inanimate objects, thus disengaging them from their natural empathy. For eg. Kicking a chair out of anger is very different from kicking a human being. It’s an object. It’s easier to do without guilt as the terrorist believes it’s the right thing to do.

The terrorist’s mentality is collectivist as against individualist. The herd mentality is commonly present as against the ability to think for themselves and chart their own path. This kind of thinking is conditioned early on, to ensure obedience in some religions and in some schools of the world and it is this mentality that is tapped as the individual grows older and recognizes the emptiness he feels inside.

From interviews with some 60 former terrorists conducted by psychologist John Horgan, PhD, who directs the Pennsylvania State University's International Centre for the Study of Terrorism found that people who are more open to terrorist recruitment and radicalization tend to:

• Feel angry, alienated or disenfranchised.
• Believe that their current political involvement does not give them the power to effect real change.
• Identify with perceived victims of the social injustice they are fighting.
• Feel the need to take action rather than just talking about the problem.
• Believe that engaging in violence against the state or others is not immoral.
• Have friends or family sympathetic to the cause.
• Believe that joining a movement offers social and psychological rewards such as adventure, camaraderie and a heightened sense of identity.

Muzaffar Wani’slamentations upon the death of his son Burhan Wani to Youth Ki Awaaz corroborates these findings. “Almost everyone here has been beaten up by the Army... But everyone didn’t become a militant. It depends on how much one can take. Someone’s ‘Ghairat’ (self-respect) got challenged time and again, so he decided to answer. Others decided to stay quiet. My son couldn’t bear to see the atrocities and the humiliation, so he was forced to choose the path which he is on right now.”

Interestingly, no one, not even Burhan Wani woke up one morning and decided that today is the day to become a terrorist. The role grows on the person imperceptibly until one day there is no turning back. But now terrorism is less emotional and more instrumental, psychologists say. Terrorists don’t react, they respond with well laid plans that are designed to inflict long term costs on their enemies. True, there might be an emotional element involved in the act, especially for those who do the killing, but those who plan the terrorist acts are looking to inflict heavy long terms costs on their enemies and bend them to their way of thinking.

Combating the growing menace of terrorism

Clark R. McCauley, Professor of Psychology, Bryn Mawr College in his essay, the The Psychology of Terrorism described terrorism as” the warfare of the weak, the recourse of those desperate for a cause that cannot win by conventional means”. The approach to groupterrorism therefore has to be multipronged. Individual acts of terrorism cannot easily be tackled because of the psychopathology involved. Harsh Punishment has so far not worked as a deterrent, and while it must not be discarded, it cannot and must not be the corner stone of a policyto tackle this growing menace. The plan of action must be at one level tactical and on another, emotional. The tactical approach includes, keeping those who can and do influence such behaviour at bay, by legitimate means by:

• Monitoring the airwaves, social media, the educational institutions and the like and taking appropriate preventive action, when influencers use such media. However this must be done with appropriate safeguards built in for the freedom of expression.
• Isolation – economic and social as far as possible – this is one of the most effective methods of prevention – It is often seen when funds dry up, the ability to mount operations too withers.

At the emotional level the approach must be to,
• Improve two way communication between the disaffected and the authorities responsible for their disaffection
• Provide opportunities for youth to self-actualize, rather than be ‘successful’, because the youth that prefer terrorism rarely want that kind of success. They are looking for something deeper.
• Manage societal inequities in a more just and transparent manner that gives rise to trust rather than mistrust.

- See more at: http://www.newskarnataka.com/opinion/human-being-to-human-bomb-inside-the-mind-of-a-terrorist#sthash.eNzc5RM4.dpuf