Motivation Speech at SJEC 10/2/16

I see that there are participants and winners in this audience. All young between 17 and 20 I would guess?  Who the winners will be today we as yet we don’t know, but I guess each one of the participants here wants to win…. Is there anyone that does not want to win?

Lemons and Apples which fruit do you like more?  The Apple? Why?

Which is costlier in the Market? Why? So the Apple is the winner by far? Correct?

But both have health benefits, lovely colors, shapes and what the lemon can do the apple cant. Can it?

I drink lime juice in warm water in the morning, while my wife eats an apple in the mornings – both of us do what we do for different health reasons.  The Lime and the Apple both win, they don’t compete against  others – they compete from within – to give the best they can to the consumer.

Today all of you have come over to compete against others – whom you believe are similarly placed as you… But there is more important competition going on here – the competition against yourself…. Today you may win or lose against another – its unpredictable, but please ensure that you win against yourself. 

I  did not win a single similar competition until I entered my post graduation phase.  I would participate, but with diffidence, sure I would not win and I did not.  I would get frustrated and rave at the judges and the winners, until I learnt that I won….against myself.

All of you know what an egg looks like. When u break its shell from the outside, you kill  a life, when it breaks from the inside – a life is born. That is the difference – competing against others and competing against yourself – Your fears, your insecurities,  your diffidence, your inhibitions, and your perceived inabilities.

Think about it. Competition can break your shell from the outside, but what I want each one of you to do is break your shell from the inside.

Message 1. Get out of your comfort zone

Exercise – Raise your hand and wave three times from side to side.  Right hand left hand – Comfort Zone.

If you want to compete, against yourself,  you  have to exit your comfort zone.

What is this comfort Zone.  Simple – Lets say u are in an air-conditioned room the whole day, and you have to step out and walk to the market.  Its April and hot and humid… you are stepping out of your comfort zone – physically to get to where you want to go. Emotionally, your ego is hurt and you want to hurt the person who pricked your ego, you control your anger – you are stepping out of a comfort zone, because that’s what u want to do. You have never participated in a competition of this type before, yet u are here today, you are stepping out of your comfort zone.  You have never stood in front of an audience of impatient youngsters like you and addressed them like I am addressing you today – You are stepping out of your comfort zone as I am doing now, because I want to pass on an important message.

If you want to step out of your comfort zone – you must want to. You must have a goal, a vision, something that will make you do the difficult things in life – with the goal that life can get better.

That’s a common goal. All of us want to be happy in life. We all want to live a perfect life. We want that great job or a successful business. We want to be married to Mr. Right or Mrs Perfect. We want to have great kids. We want to have friends that stick by us come rain or shine. We want to be able to have all the material things life has to offer and have all our problems just disappear.

Everybody wishes for good life. It may be at different levels. One person may define a good life one way and another may describe it another way. For one person a good life may be just having three meals a day and a roof over their head. For another it may be having a huge mansion and a couple of million dollars in the bank.

But we want all of this easy  and quick. Especially Generation Y & Z like you. I come across many youngsters, who want to have the good life but easily. That is a normal human expectation. Nobody likes to struggle through life. Nobody wants to step out of his or her comfort Zone.

But Life is hard – your head of department, your lecturer, your teacher may not appreciate your efforts the way u see it. Or for that matter your parents too. You wont always get the marks you think you deserved.

Life is hard -  your boss will not always be the nicest person in the world. Your job will have challenges that you did not foresee. Your workmates will sometimes be a pain. You won’t always get the salary and recognition that you want and deserve at work. Your clients may not be the nicest people in the world.

Life is hard – your friends may not always be your friends and support you. You may fall in love, but not marry your love.

Life is hard -  Your wife or husband may not be as perfect as you thought they were when you married them – in fact I can guarantee you they are not. Your home may not be the ideal place you would want it to be. You may not the perfect wife or husband that you once thought you were.

Life is hard – running a business is not as easy as you thought it would be. No one is lining up to bring money to your business, even though you are a really nice person and your business has great products to offer.

That is because, you expected that things will fall in place as you planned. And when it doesn’t, you give up. Unfortunately, that is also what may be stopping you from having that great life. The thought of all that work, all that planning, overcoming hurdles and resistance is enough to make a lot of people give up before they even start. 

Even to buy a winning lottery ticket, an investment, an effort is required.

A coin has two sides – Heads and Tails. And life too is nothing but a two faced coin. On the one side are inscribed the words “I am comfortable" inscribed, and on the other is the other – Do I want to be?

Message 2 Be different

The story of the cracked pot - THE CRACKED POT: A STORY FOR ANYONE WHO'S NOT QUITE PERFECT

A waterbearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole, which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it. While the other pot was perfect, and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the mistress's house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to her master's house.

The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream: "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your mistress's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in her compassion she said, "As we return to the mistress's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?

“That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them.

“For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my mistress's table. Without you being just the way you are, she would not have this beauty to grace her house."

Moral: Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots.

But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. We've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them.

There's a lot of good out there.

The Story of Manjula as narrated by a school principal on whats app

Exercise - Now let me ask you to choose a fruit

WHAT DOES BEING DIFFERENT MEAN really?

Being different means:- Not being afraid to challenge the norm.- Being willing to take a chance.- Asking why.- Making your own track, not just following the well trodden path.- Charting your own course and destiny.- Being the person that you were meant to be.

I believe that everyone is born unique. But through the years we work very hard to be like everyone else. We conform to society’s so-called “common-sense." Unfortunately it is just that – “common sense." That does not mean its “good sense."

THE FOLLY OF EDUCATION.

Most people think once they have a qualification that’s it. They have arrived. Is it any wonder they don’t grow? They are stagnant. Stuck at 18! Don’t make that mistake.

Most of us won’t even read unless there’s an exam in sight. But you know what? Everyday of your life is an exam. Everyday you either pass or fail the test of life. Everyday is an opportunity to grow beyond your present barriers and circumstances. Everyday is a chance to become a better person.

The saddest part is most of people don’t realize this. If they had to be graded at the end of their lives you know what they’d get? D, D and more D’s. And yet they thought they were doing very well. They let society’s “common sense" grade them.

MY ADVICE?

If I can leave you with one piece of advice it would be this: READ

Message 3 - Small Steps

The Story of how I gave up smoking  - one day at a time

I wanted to do it, I wanted to be different, and I stepped out

"Just take it one step at a time" As I walked through that unknown and scary world one thought kept going through my mind…It was… “Just take it one step at a time. Doesn’t worry about what will happen later, just think about each step… one small step to success”… That was the idea I hang on to.

 There were also obstacles along the way. But with each small step they were overcome.

There were frustrations, fears and uncertainties. But with each small step they were crushed.

There was hardship and danger, but with each small step and focus on the desired destination it was conquered.Svvo you see, success is no mystery.

Don’t think about what can happen in a month Don’t think about what can happen in a year. Just Focus on the 24 hours in front of you  and do what u can to get closer to where u want to be  - in competition with yourself – to make your life better.

Ill repeat the messages for good measure

1.       Compete against yourself, not against others – You will always be a winner

2.       Get out of your comfort zone.

3.       Don’t be afraid to be different – chart your own course

4.       Take small steps

5.       Good Luck.

My home, My cage!

In my home, my cage

The Door is ajar,

But I remain closed

Suffused with rage.

The light shines through

Pings me in the eye

Oh! Had I dozed?

Maybe, but not long before

Comforted perhaps

By the status quo.

While sleeping dogs lie

Tigers do not rest

Restless in the wild

And in their cage,

Ready to fight

But if hunted,

Ready for flight.

Here I am,

Secure at home

Four walls and a dome

Discomfited by just light!

For outside

It’s not all sunshine

There’s hate,  there’s hoax,

And there’s hurt,

Some think is necessary

And is just fine.

I, I wonder why

And I cry.

Then I see that they are attached,

To what they have

To what they don’t

With strings so strong,

They’ve twisted the strands

Into all that’s wrong.

Is it I, I wonder

Am I that tiger?

If not I, then who?

 I ponder.

Can I pull those strings?

This way and that

Till they detach?

I worry,

Will I be hunted?

Have an encounter?

Be put in a cage

And to the end flounder?

Please, the time’s not right

Don’t ping me again

That I may wake

And wander out

Of my home, my cage….

Culture Stoned - A visit to Sharavanabelagola, Belur and Halebeedu

History and culture, or for that matter, cultural history as it is written in the text books, drab and boring, was never my forte. However, when it comes alive in front of my eyes, it's different - it both excites and benumbs me.

We started off early on a Saturday morning, travelling first to Hassan, which is midway to the state capital, Bengaluru. 934 meters above sea level, this district Headquarters is accessed through a climbing winding road, called the Shiradi Ghat. It's not the highway to hell it was before. In fact I must compliment the state government for the excellently refurbished roads – they made the drive pleasant and a little shorter than before - we could bypass the numerous gas tankers rather easily and smoothly.

Hungry bunnies we were, after starting out early morning and picnicking through a breakfast along the way just after Nellyadi, gas stove et al. After checking in at a rather new hotel, Hotel Raama, we feasted on an excellent lunch at their vegetarian restaurant, aptly named ‘Swad’. Stomach full, a siesta was a must, before we set out to see the wonder that is Sharavanabelagola, around 60 kms away towards Bengaluru.

My last visit to this small town was when I was a school kid, and as we neared the town, memories disturbed my driving! Sharavanabelagola means 'the monk on the top of the hill' and hermits, mystics and ascetics resided here since at least the 3rd century BC. Today it was my turn to visit, not reside, though the cool breeze at the top was rather inviting of residence.

Today it is bare rock, and access to the base of the rock is rather easy. However in the 11th century, the hill was thickly wooded and hermits could feed themselves from the vegetation of the forest. Near the middle of the 10th century AD, temples began to be constructed upon the hill and from that time the place has become one of the most important pilgrimage sites of the Jain religion.

Alighting at the base, I looked up to see the massive 58 foot, 8 inch statue of Sri Gomatheswar, also known as Bahubali, carved between 978-993 AD, out of the granite bedrock of the mountain smiling serenely in a world troubled by greed, revenge and destruction. Bahubali was the son of the legendary first Tirthankara, Adinatha (tirthankaras are the mythical, enlightened sages of Jainism).

The large hill I learnt is also called Vindhyagiri or Per-kalbappu, and is 3347 feet above sea level. Having caught a glimpse of this serene sage from the bottom of the hill, I was drawn to climb the 614 steps to his abode, and at the top, besides the cool breeze, I experienced peace, and the cool clime under the rock roof before descending into the rough and tumble of the world we live in.

Interestingly, I found that there were many who due to infirmity could not undertake the strenuous climb, but made it to the top on a poor man’s palanquin (basically a cane chair) hefted by four men at an approximate cost of Rs: 1000 per trip after the haggling was done. One of them told me that they made 4 trips a day. Hard and uncertain work, but a noble cause all around. What amazed me was the perfect coordination among them coming down – they literally ran down the steps – the palanquin firm on their shoulders, and they were not young men!

Rest beckoned and we returned to the hotel late in the evening tired, dusty and hungry. A grand meal and a good sleep were all we needed for rejuvenation and the next morning we were ready to re-explore our childhood excursions again.

An early breakfast and check out for the return trip and we were off to Halebeedu, the 12th-13th century capital of the Hoysala Empire. The temple complex sculpted from soapstone comprises two Hindu temples, the Hoysaleswara and Kedareswara temples and two Jain basadis. Two Monolith Nandi’s grace the sides of the temple complex. Sadly, the sculptures have been vandalized.

I was fascinated by the intricate stone carvings both within and without the temple complex, something that cannot be envisaged in this day of straight in the air, glass and concrete encased architecture. The walls of the temple are covered with an endless variety of depictions from Hindu mythology, animals, birds and shilabalikas or dancing figures. No two sculptures of the temple are the same. I noticed a strange logic in the rows of carvings that adorned the outer walls of the temple complex. The powerful but heavy elephant was at the bottom while the lighter birds flew on at the top, with man in the middle – just as it is on earth.

After spending a good two hours there, we moved on to Belur, around 40 kms from Hassan, the home of the Chennakesava Temple, built on the banks of the Yagachi River in Belur, by the Hoysala Empire King Vishnuvardhana. Here the sculpted temples were even more marvelous, and the fine detail in their sculptures was a sight to behold.

As we moved around the temple courtyard, we came across a couple of indeterminate nationality. I believe they were Thai. The gentleman dressed only in black shorts, was performing the most intricate surya namaskara and other yogasanas flawlessly, with the carved temple wall in the background, and his partner filming his moves. Quite possible that history was repeating itself, I thought.

On our return trip, we stopped at the Manjarabad fort at Saskleshpur, Tipu constructed with French help in 1785. Manjarabad Fort takes up the entire top of its supporting mountain, making it virtually unassailable other than through its main gate. It’s a short climb and another 280 steps to the entrance of the fort, which is an eight pointed star, designed more as a watchtower, given its strategic location than a fortified city.

Visions of gore and bloodshed came alive before my eyes given Tipu’s battle record, though historically there is no record of the fort being involved in any conflict. There are reports of bodies being found below in one of the many tunnels that emerged from the fort, but nothing concrete, literally! Apparently, the fort is less famous for the battles it was involved in than for the scenes of the 2006 Kannada movie Mungaru Male which were shot there. The fort's name reportedly came from the fact that its mountaintop was frequently shrouded by mist, which is known as manju in Kannada. Once at the top, we were shrouded in heat rather than mist, given that it was mid noon. 

From then on it was literally all downhill till we reached home sweet home, after an eventful, excerciseful, and educative two days in the sun!

This Women’s day, let there be more like Gangamma

Gangamma (name changed) is the great grandmother of little Tanushree who is all of 2 and half years old, attractive and very intelligent for her age. Gangamma, touching 60, if not more,  has that old world rural charm that most women would die for – lean, a lined and tired face, a pleasant smile and thoughtful and helpful ways. She is a widow. In contrast, her daughter, also a widow,  is plump, her husband having died after fathering two daughters.  One of the daughters is back home in her rural home town  near Gadag, while the other, the young (not yet 22) mother of Tanushree is resident with her.  Tanushree’s father  was  more fond of alcohol than his family,  and has abandoned her.  Uniquely, they all live together in the city in one room, four generations, eking out a living  jointly - nothing steady - doing domestic and construction jobs from time to time,  and returning home to their home town where they have a little land periodically. They seem happy and self sufficient without a “male guardian”, though Tanushree will miss a father figure in the times to come.

The younger ones, primary educated, dote on young Tanushree and have embraced technology with a vengeance – they use a mixie, a fan,  and have three mobiles between them  on which they carry on conversations ad nauseam.  They are, what we may call the lower middle class, with strong upward aspirations, self confident, having overcome at least partially, gender biases and are moving towards gender equality. They seem confident that in time they will get there.

There is a flip side to this gender equality success story.  

All the TV channels carried a news story emanating from Maharashtra that shocked the country – A young girl still in her teens, raped and made pregnant by her  father,  was shown being lashed, by men at that. She received 10 lashes as mandated by the local panchayath. The panchayath also mandated 12 lashes to the father,  which is unusual in a male dominated society, but that does not make it any better, for her or for our society.  

Unfortunately, from honor killings, to intercaste violence and rape, women are still at the receiving end of the violence stick, all over the world and more so in India.  Crime figures may not reflect it, because reportage, as in the case of the alleged Harayana mass rapes is limited by stigmas and apathy on the part of the law and order agencies and broken wheels of justice.

Billboards celebrate women, on women’s day and otherwise, but with a motive to sell products and services, alas, not for themselves, not for their accomplishments, not for what they can do. 

None of this should come as a surprise as India ranks 130 on the Gender inequality index of the UN, and 108th out of 130 countries on the World Economic Forum’s Global Gender Gap’s Report which among other things measures inequality among the sexes,  on the basis of 
•Economic participation and opportunity – outcomes on salaries, participation levels and access to high-skilled employment
•Educational attainment – outcomes on access to basic and higher level education
•Political empowerment – outcomes on representation in decision-making structures
•Health and survival – outcomes on life expectancy and sex ratio. 

The men celebrate Women’s day – in air-conditioned halls, and in media columns like this one, but reality has a chilling effect on the celebrations. The Honorable Prime Minister in his motion of thanks to the president’s address,  also suggested that only women speak in Parliament on women’s day – Possibly they will, but will the men listen or even be there to listen?  After all, women form only 12% of the total population of the Parliament, a far cry from the 33% envisaged in the women’s reservation bill. But all is not bleak - they are now cutting their  political teeth in urban and rural local bodies and gaining invaluable political experience.

Women have progressed in independent India based on the principle of equality before law that has been enshrined in the Constitution,  a strong  judiciary and governments that want to be seen as pro women, due to their vote numbers, not out  of a genuine interest in their well being. Political and economic empowerment has to be earned bit by bit, unlike possibly health and education facilities.

This slow progress towards gender equality has seen women make spectacular progress in some areas of life, but the success stories that we hear of are few and far between. A few Indian and foreign Banks, Industrial conglomerates both in India and abroad are headed by women, but educational statistics indicate that their progress is related to their income levels and opportunities to progress are limited by family background. The gap widens as the income drops as they are valued for their income generating ability and grunt and repetitive work, rather than their intellect and managerial capability, which is a male preserve at the lower end of the income pole. 

Only 27% of the female population is educated upto secondary level and just 29% are part of the labour force mainly doing menial jobs at often unequal pay.

The reasons for this slide into inequality are not hard to find. Men are scared of women usurping their positions in the family and society, but are unable to resist the rising demand for that very same equality, born out of progressive law systems and education.  The information highway has increased aspirations and is driving political and economic discourse towards narrowing the gap and in time we will see more Gangammas around, making their presence felt in all walks of life.

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