Ralph Smedley

We are all members of the Toastmaster’s International, advanced members at that, and proud of it. We are in the throes of its 94^th year, and yet we rejoice, because membership in this august club has given us a sense of time, a manner of speaking and a social support system that we all cherish.  We owe all of this to one man – Ralph C. Smedley, the founder of Toastmaster’s international.

The name toastmaster though was suggested by the secretary of the YMCA – George Sutton, without a toast in hand. Taking a cue from him, today I’d like to raise a toast in the form of a eulogy to Ralph C Smedley in advance of his 52^nd death anniversary which falls in September.

Ralph Smedley was the third child to Thomas Braxton Smedley and his second wife Martha Ann Rice.  After Ralph Smedley’s older sister, Bertha, died of Diphtheria at age seven before Ralph was born, his grieving mother dressed him in girls clothes until he was about three. Perhaps that was where he developed his love of speech.

He finally wore short pants at age five. 

Incidentally their respective fathers in law where on opp sides in the US Civil war and may have clashed in Georgia – That was before their children were married. After they were married – they sat on the porch and argued over wine.

Though he was born in Waverly, Illinois, USA in the 19^th Century, February 1878 to be precise, he never wavered from his goal to make the world a better place.  He started in 1905 and never gave up till he died in September 1965.  And that doesn’t mean he was not successful!

Now how did he do that?

Well most us use the power of intelligible speech to take our lives forward in some way or the other. We use our tongue to cheat, cajole, cheer, confuse, convince or communicate and get ahead in life.  Smedley recognised this fact early on, but he also realised that some needed help to do it or they would be left behind in the race for a better life.  He wrote the manual on how to do it and created a business, a very profitable one albeit registered as a not for profit organization.

Consider this, Toastmasters international has approx. 345000 members 15900 clubs in 142 countries – Its board meeting is like the UN Security Council Meet, without permanent members or vetos though.  It generates in excess of Rs: 200 Crores in revenues annually and is still growing. Like any multinational corporate entity it has a hierarchical organization structure, and the trickledown effect is akin to the plight of Indian taps in a poor monsoon year.  

Besides his stupendous leadership success in creating an international organization, that flourishes and grows much like a banyan tree, Ralph C. Smedley wrote 10 books along the way.  From titles like the Amateur Chairman to the professional speaker, sorry, the advanced speaker, Smedley touched our lives in many manual ways.  In 1952, by which time he was 74 years old, he wrote a book titled Speech Engineering: 25 Ways to Build a Speech (1952) and we struggle to do that even today – we need mentors!

There are two perhaps little known facts about our hero. One is that he was never called by his full name Ralph Chestnut Smedley for a variety of reasons. He always went by the proper noun Ralph C. Smedley! While at college he was the President of the Epworth Club, an on-campus club affiliated with the Methodist church.  Guess who was the recording secretary of the same club?  Frances Bass!  the girl he married in 1904 soon after graduation. Ralph first met her on September 9, 1901 at the home of their Methodist minister, Reverend G.A. Scott.  He must have to taught her to say “yes” when he popped the question. No doubt about it. They married soon after in 1904. They had one daughter Betty Smedley who died in 1994 leaving us Advanced TM’s orphans.

Smedley loved to speak about speaking. Let me read out some of my favourite quotes.

"There are no absolutes in public speaking."

"We need fewer rules on detail and better understanding of general purposes." 

"When you talk, you give yourself away. You reveal your true character in a picture which is more true and realistic than anything an artist can do for you." 

The unprepared speaker has a right to be afraid."

"The club whose membership is shrinking has something the matter with it."

Ladies and Gentlemen Put your hands together for the man who created it all with his tongue. Today we realise its more powerful than the sword and pen put together!

Filling the Vacuum

After an exhausting installation ceremony of a toastmasters club, the Port Town Toastmasters Club, I was sitting along with two other fellow toastmasters,  exchanging pleasantries, when, as they concentrated on their fruit cake and jelabi's, I fell silent, eyes open staring into space.  Another fellow toastmaster, walked up to me and said, what are you doing? You look like you are in the labor waiting room and you've just got the news that your wife has delivered triplets!  I was shocked and for a minute I actually believed her. For I was far away from the venue where the function was held, literally in a blank funk!

I am a dreamer, but not of dreams. I tend to drift into space, not on a rocket, but on a cycle, pedaling away in a vacuum. There is no road, nothing on either side and no light at the end of the tunnel. My expression is vacant - I am there and yet I am not. I know it, and yet I find it difficult to restrain myself from doing that. For something to hold me in the here and now, would require me to be in a dangerous situation of life and death, and then too I am not sure whether I would be in the Netherlands! Amsterdam is a nice place I find!

After an exhausting installation ceremony of the Port Town Toastmasters Club, I was sitting along with Area Director Sagnik and Division Director Poorvi, exchanging pleasantries, when, as they concentrated on their fruit cake and jelabi's, I fell silent, eyes open staring into space.  Preetham, our VP PR came up to me and said, what are you doing? You look like you are in the labor waiting room and you've just got the news that your wife has delivered triplets!  I was shocked and for a minute I actually believed her. For I was far away from the BMS hotel where the function was held, literally in a blank funk!

I am a dreamer, but not of dreams. I rarely get them. I tend to drift into space, not on a rocket, but on a cycle, pedaling away in a vacuum. There is no road, nothing on either side or no light at the end of the tunnel. My expression is vacant - I am there and yet I am not. I know it, and yet I find it difficult to restrain myself from doing that. For something to hold me in the here and now, would require me to be in a dangerous situation of life and death, and then too I am not sure whether I would be in the Netherlands! I am told Amsterdam is nice place!

My wife and kids constantly tease me about my condition as they call it. I don’t notice when they have a haircut, or what clothes they wear, so long as they wear them, and often they talk about me when I am in the room, confident that I will not register what they are saying. But the condition is not so bad, one ear does pick up my name, though I often feign ignorance - fueling the myth of my condition! It’s called selective hearing. One often develops this condition a few years into marriage perhaps, but I guess I had what these insurance advisors call a preexisting condition.

But I think I developed it long before.  At a birthday party of a friend, I must have been in College then, we were seated in circle, on sofas or chairs. Next to each of the sofas, were teapoys or small stools to keep the glasses - soft drinks mind you - we were holding and bowls of snacks. I was sitting at the edge of one of the sofas and next to me was a teapoy on which my glass was kept. I picked it up for a sip and kept holding it for a moment thereafter, and fell back into my lost stupor. A little while later, I kept my glass down on the teapoy. But the teapoy was no longer there as it had been taken away. The glass shattered and everybody yelled at me. I felt like sheep on the way to its slaughter.  They say there's no harm in day dreaming, but there is.

In fact I was an ordinary student, not a terrible student because I was often day dreaming. Still, I managed to get into college, but my daydreaming threatened to sabotage me. I used behaviour modification to break the cycle. I started by setting an arbitrary time limit on studying: for every 15 minutes of study, I'd allow myself an hour of daydreaming. I set the alarm and I cleared college, my CC CL ACB ALB. Not bad?

But I wonder why I do it. Why do I have the condition? Daydreaming allows me to play out scenarios where you miraculously save the day. I play out scenarios in my head that are kind of crazy, and then I personally, heroically resolve them. Instead of being ordinary Brian Fernandez, attending to my daily routine, I am faraway on a star trek, a hero to someone somewhere, but remain a guy here on earth who looks like he had triplets to those who are looking at me. Now both are pleasurable I am sure, though I haven’t experienced the latter and it may be too late for it.

Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose says Bo Bennett and I reassure myself that I am on the right track, but I am jolted from the reality when I try to start my bike with the car keys or wear my T shirt inside out. But what takes the cake is applying toothpaste instead of shaving cream. 

I’m sure all of this will get better as I get older, and I can already feel it. Toastmasters has helped in this regard very much. I am now able to make a full speech with confidence, even though my mind is on mars.

Thank You