The need for emotional competence at work

All humans have basic emotional needs. Each of us has similar, but different emotional needs. Emotional needs vary more in degree than in type. Emotional needs vary more than physical needs.  Emotional needs are more basic and more important than "rights".  Our bodies communicate with others and us, to tell us what we need.  The better our communication, the better we feel. Emotions help us establish our boundaries.  Emotions have the potential to unite and connect us. Emotions can serve as our inner moral and ethical compass and are essential for good decision making. What doesn't feel good to us normally doesn't feel good to others.

Negative feelings are indications of our unmet emotional needs. Feelings are real and are not debatable. Invalidation of feelings destroys self-esteem.  High self-esteem is needed for productivity, job satisfaction, and customer service.   Group harmony requires both mutual need satisfaction and mutual respect of feelings. Low Self Esteem, which is by product of our unmet emotional needs, produces the opposite effect and often results in indiscipline.

But to understand the importance of this, we must first be in touch with our own feelings, which is a measure of our Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.  Salvoey & Mayer defined emotional intelligence in terms of being able to monitor and regulate one’s own and other’s feelings, and to use feelings to guide thought & action. A simple definition of Emotional Intelligence is “knowing how you and others feel and what to do about it.”  Emotional intelligence is therefore, a combination of competencies. These skills contribute to a person’s ability to manage and monitor his or her own emotions, to correctly gauge the emotional state of others and to influence opinions. Goleman describes a model of five dimensions. Each area has its own set of behavioral attributes as follows.

1.    Self-awareness is the ability to recognize a feeling as it happens, to accurately perform self-assessments and have self-confidence. It is the keystone of emotional intelligence. 

2.    Self-management or self-regulation is the ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check (self-control), maintain standards of honesty and integrity (trustworthiness), take responsibility for ones performance (conscientiousness), handle change (adaptability), and be comfortable with novel ideas and approaches (innovation).  This has very important applications for Discipline.

3.    Motivation is the emotional tendency guiding or facilitating the attainment of   goals. It consists of achievement drive (meeting a standard of excellence), commitment (alignment of goals with the group or organization), initiative (acting on opportunities), and optimism (persistence reaching goals despite set backs).

4.    Empathy is the understanding of others by being aware of their needs, perspectives, feelings and concerns, and sensing the developmental needs of others.

5.    Social skills are fundamental to emotional intelligence. They include the ability to induce desirable responses in others by using effective diplomacy to persuade (influence); listen openly and send convincing messages (communicate); inspire and guide groups and individuals (leadership); nurture instrumental relationships (building bonds); work with others toward a shared goal (collaboration, cooperation); and create group synergy in pursuing collective goals.

Emotional Competence on the other hand is a learned Capability based on Emotional Intelligence that results in outstanding performance at Work.  Emotional Competence shows how much of that potential we have translated into on the job capabilities. Emotional Competence has practical applications in these specific areas:

1.    Conflict Resolution - The ability to de-escalate conflicts and to use conflict as a source of valuable feedback and improvement. The treatment of feelings, both that of the customer and of the employee, as an important variable in the total success formula.

2.    Customer Service - Learning how to help your customers feel heard, understood, helped, served, respected, valued and important.

3.    High Technology Management - Helping technical experts improve their emotional & people skills; i.e. creating a high-tech, high-touch workplace.

4.    Hiring and Placement - Selecting employees with relatively high emotional intelligence and EQ and better placement matching.  Turnover, Turnover reduction through helping employees feel appreciated, recognized, supported, challenged, rewarded and respected.

5.    Training - Raising EQ at all levels of the business through Emotional Literacy and EQ awareness workshops.

6.    Corporate Culture or Climate - Creating an environment where employees feel safe, trusted, special, needed, included, important, cooperative, focused, productive, motivated, respected and valued.

7.    Productivity - Developing intrinsic motivation. Increasing employee commitment, cooperation and cohesion. Reducing lost time spent on conflicts, turf-battles, defensiveness and insecurity.

8.    Goal Setting - Setting goals which include feelings. For example, stating the goal that we want customers to feel satisfied, appreciated, etc. and setting similar goals for employees, and then getting feedback on feelings and measuring and tracking performance.

9.    Long term reduction of health care costs - Negative emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety, and stress have been shown to reduce the functioning of the immune system, increase blood pressure, increase chance of heart attacks, prolong recovery times, cause migraine headaches, and increase the risk of cancer. On the other hand, emotional support has been shown to have tangible health benefits. In one study, for example, terminally ill cancer patients who received one hour per week of emotional support lived twice as long as those who did not receive such emotional support.

10. Leadership - The leader with high EQ is first of all emotionally aware. This means he is aware of his own feelings and is not limited to logic, intellect and reasons when making decisions and managing people. He is also able to read the unverbalized emotions in others. In addition, he is emotionally literate in that he is able to concisely articulate emotions; he has a broad vocabulary of feeling words at his quick disposal He is emotionally secure. In other words, he does not feel threatened by others or their differing opinions or beliefs. Thus he does not easily become defensive or angered. Also, he acknowledges his fears and encourages others to do likewise. He is empathetic. He tends to accept others and show compassion, rather than to be demanding and intolerant. He treats all feelings with respect. He is inspiring and motivating. He is able to understand what motivates his individual employees and he adjusts his management style to their unique     values and motives. 

11. Top Management - Top management's emotional style and emotional self-management is critical to company's EQM. When the executive values feelings, so will the managers and the employees. Also, research confirms what common sense would suggest: Emotions are contagious. Thus, if the executives feel optimistic, confident, creative, flexible, tolerant, respectful, and compassionate, the employees will tend to take on these same feelings. Research also indicates that the direction of emotional flow is from top down, as we might expect, since anyone in power has, by default, more influence.

It is clear from the above that an Employee’s Unmet Emotional Needs cause the majority of problems at work - When an employee has negative feelings which are the result of Unmet Emotional Needs he is more critical, aggressive, judgmental, closed-minded, non-accepting, disapproving, impatient and inflexible. Common negative feelings among employees are feelings of being Disrespected, Unappreciated, Unfulfilled, Unchallenged, Unmotivated, Apathy, Exploited, Bored, Criticized, Unsupported, Hindered, Over-controlled, Underestimated, Powerless, Overworked, Underpaid, Stressed, Judged, Replaceable, Unimportant, Afraid and Insecure.

Some of the more desirable feelings which Management can help create are the feelings of being Respected, Acknowledged, Supported, Helped, Trusted, Appreciated, Important, Special, Irreplaceable, Useful, Needed, Valued and valuable.  These positive feelings help an employee’s emotional needs to be satisfied, and he feels better - he is more productive, motivated, adventurous, patient, complimentary, creative, cooperative, open-minded, flexible, understanding, empathetic, compassionate, accepting. 

 

The need for managerial EQ, in fact, has only intensified as structural changes have swept through the workplace. In decades past, a boss probably could ignore his employees' emotional lives - workers were in effect told to leave their emotions at home, and most complied. No more.  As organizations have shifted to a more team-based workplace, you're asking employees for commitment and passion - to bring both their brains and hearts to the job. Along with this, you have to expect people will bring their emotions to work, too," says Patricia J. Addesso, a San Diego management consultant and author of Management Would Be Easy - If It Weren't for the People (Amacom). You cannot ignore emotions - not if you want to get passion from your workers." 

Top management's emotional style and emotional self-management is critical to an organization’s EQM. When the Chief Executive values feelings, so will the managers and the employees. Also, research confirms what common sense would suggest: Emotions are contagious. Thus, if the executives feel optimistic, confident, creative, flexible, tolerant, respectful, and compassionate, the employees will tend to take on these same feelings. Research also indicates that the direction of emotional flow is from top down, as we might expect, since anyone in power has, by default, more influence.

Management therefore needs to

a.        Make the organization a place of mutual respect for feelings.

b.        Identify the key feelings important for success. 

c.        Establish feeling goals for employees and customers.

d.        Use a simple scale such as 0-10 to track feelings.

e.        Start respecting an Employee’s feelings and start assigning value to them.

f.         Include feelings in decision-making and problem resolution.

g.        Listen to the most sensitive people in the organization.

h.        Strike a balance between emotion and logic.

i.         Develop EQ skills throughout the organization and Prohibit invalidation of feelings. Enhancement of the Emotional Quotient throughout the organization has a positive effect on Discipline and in the long run on an organization’s performance.

In order to enhance the Emotional Competence throughout the organization, all of us who work in organizations have to ensure that emotions are integrated into our daily life.  The more they are integrated into our life, the higher our EQ is likely to be.  But whether we score high or low, the good news is that we all can raise our Emotional Competence and consequently the Emotional Competence Index of the Organization.

What are the steps?

1.    Make a decision to change.

2.    Learn to reflect - Learn to reflect on what's going on inside yourself. And if you don't know what's going on inside yourself emotionally, you cannot know what's going on inside others.

3.    Emotional Control - Listen to what you're telling yourself, but don't assume what you hear is immutable. You can change it. You can tell yourself something different - and that means you can change and regulate your moods. Of course, not all emotions should be hidden from your staff - that would be a step backward. But when you can control which emotions you show, then you are that much polished a leader."

4.    Practice empathy - There's no mystery about how to strengthen empathy. It boils down to practicing active listening skills. But it takes concentration to pick up on the emotions that are coming across in a conversation." For instance, if an employee says that customer is picking on me, don't just focus on the facts - delve into the underlying emotions. Is he pouting? Mad? Explore the subtext because there likely is one.

5.    Validate the emotions of others - That means acknowledging their emotions, even if they are different than what you'd feel in the same situation. This doesn't mean you need to surrender to their every emotion. Be sensitive to others, but don't let their emotions rule you."

In the end, the best way to enhance your Emotional Competence is to put yourself in others’ shoes.  If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too!