Life was good when Apple and Blackberry were fruits

 Life was good when Apple and blackberry were fruits- Newskarnataka

Recently, my friend, often buried in her Smartphone, was standing at the edge of the road, and texting a friend (not me thankfully) on whatsapp when she was hit by a car that had drifted to the edge of the road, ostensibly to avoid oncoming traffic. She was unaware of the oncoming traffic until she was hit. Luckily she only broke her hand and it was soon repaired. Later, police investigation through  street cctv footage, revealed that the driver of the car too was ironically checking his texts as he drove. 

Often when I visit a restaurant, I have to wait for the ordered meal to arrive. I look around (before I look down at my smart phone) and I find most heads bowed, either over their plates or their smart phones, I pads or tabs. 

I don’t find it in the least bit amusing, because I too am drawn to my phone and until the meal arrives, I hardly converse with my family at the same table, nor they with me as we are all staring at our phone screens, chatting with virtual friends, playing candy crush or just browsing….

Are we addicted? I certainly don’t think so. After all it’s not as if we smoke, or consume alcohol or indulge in inappropriate behavior. But is going incommunicado in the real world not a symptom of a disease?  I wanted to find out…

What is Internet addiction?

Internet addiction is an impulse disorder  that is similar to gambling. It does not involve use of an intoxicating drug but does cause inappropriate and often anti social behavior.

Relationships with real people are not wholly sacrificed, but conducted virtually. Even the emotional relationships are with the virtual persona and not the real,  creating a very confused human being. 

The addicted are good researchers and communicators – on the web, through web logs or blogs as they are commonly known but not in the real world.

Are we internet addicted?

I was curious to find out whether I am addicted to the internet and asked myself the questions that Dr. Kimberly Young developed to check for the addiction. It’s called the IADQ – the Internet Addiction Diagnostic Questionnaire (IADQ). I answered in the affirmative to four of them.

It has eight questions and if you answer yes to five of them it does indicate that you are addicted.  Try it now.

1.Do you feel preoccupied with the Internet (think about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)?
2.Do you feel the need to use the Internet with increasing amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction?
3.Have you repeatedly made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop Internet use?
4.Do you feel restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop Internet use?
5.Do you stay online longer than originally intended?
6.Have you jeopardized or risked the loss of significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the Internet?
7.Have you lied to family members, therapist, or others to conceal the extent of involvement with the Internet?
8.Do you use the Internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (e.g., feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)?

Other Symptoms identified by Dr. Young  include:

Failed attempts to control behavior
Heightened sense of euphoria while involved in computer and Internet activities
Neglecting friends and family
Neglecting sleep to stay online
Being dishonest with others
Feeling guilty, ashamed, anxious, or depressed as a result of online behavior
Physical changes such as weight gain or loss, backaches, headaches, carpal tunnel syndrome
Withdrawing from other pleasurable activities

Internet Addiction – its growing around the world:

Dr. Kimberly Young in 1966 presented the first ever paper on the subject “Internet Addiction: The Emergence of a New Disorder”. At the American Psychological Association’s annual conference held in Toronto. 

Studies have documented it as a growing disease in  Australia, Italy, Pakistan, Iran, Germany, and the Czech Republic and studies indicate that it has reached  epidemic proportions in China, Korea, and Taiwan.

That internet addiction is now a clinical disorder is evidenced by the fact, that this year in March, Milan In Italy, hosted the first International Congress on Internet Addiction Disorders. It came up with several insights into the disorder from many perspectives  - developmental, clinical, social, cultural, and familial. It also discussed onset age, types of addiction, and prognosis. It concluded that it was an emerging field and the subject needed be debated and researched to develop a more effective framework for providing resources, prevention, education, and treatment of internet addiction.

Korea is at the forefront of the addiction fight. It has established the first comprehensive, national prevention and re-education program for Screen Addictions and other countries mentioned above fight the addiction, each in their own way, using early education and inpatient treatment centers to fight the menace that cannot be wished away. Inmates of these inpatient centers around the world, both adolescents and adults often describe themselves as prisoners, much like those in a psychiatric ward where they  subjected to  internet abstinence, discipline, medication and psychological therapy to help them get rid of their addiction.

Shosh Shlam and Hilla Medalia, have made a documentary called Web Junkie that depicts the  efforts that China is making to deal with it, both as an individual affliction and a social disorder. According to the documentary, China is the first country to classify the addiction as a clinical disorder and  the film describes the treatment process at the Daxing Boot Camp, a center in Beijing that offers treatment to young addicts, most of them teenage boys. It also describe the anxious moments that parents go through while there.

Internet addiction in India:
A study by Nimhans in April this year revealed 73% of teenagers in Bangalore suffered from psychiatric distress. Children in the age group of 13-15 years were hooked to video games. And those in the age-group of 15-17 years were addicted to Facebook.

They exhibited physical problems like eye strain, a dysfunction in academics and social life, and were losing out on recreational activities. “Enchantment with gadgets is a big challenge for all and more so with children and teenagers and young adults too. 

Gadget have become substitutes for emotional ties in the family,” says Tulsi Patel, professor , sociology, Delhi School of Economics. 

Psychiatrists say, Internet addiction which has emerged as a serious problem could lead to a range of psychological and behavioral problems such as insomnia, lack of concentration and constant irritation. “I see at least 10 children with severe internet addiction every week,” says Jitendra Nagpal, a Delhi-based psychiatrist.

An Indian Case Study and a new de addiction center:

Alka (name changed) is a 14 year old in Delhi, who ate, slept and played with her smart phone. She preferred the company of her phone to that of her relatives and if her face book posts did not receive the desired likes, she would get agitated or depressed, much like a news portal that watches its likes to guess viewership trends. 

Luckily for her, Delhi has its own first - Centre for Children in Internet and Technology Distress, Delhi’s first internet de-addiction centre.

The centre, provides her with counseling on the harmful effects of being online for long hours. It also ensures an enforced abstinence from the internet during which time she is encouraged to play both indoor and outdoor games and practice yoga. 

Delhi’s centre is the second in the country after the National Institute of Mental Health and Neuro Sciences (Nimhans) started a de-addiction clinic in Bangalore called Shut (Service for Healthy Use of Technology)  this April.

How can you stay at home and still avoid internet addiction?
How do you balance usage of your internet device and your sanity? Check if you have five of the symptoms of internet addiction, in which case you might need therapy combined with abstinence, else follow these tips and manage the affliction from the comfort of your home:

1.Admit you have an addiction and you want to get rid of it.
An admission is the first step to change. Make a list of reasons why you will be happier when you use the internet less. Believe that you can do it.

2.Realize that you are not alone.
More and more people around the country and indeed the world are getting addicted and you can help one another – but not through online forums

3.Get a hobby or an interest that keeps you offline.
Find something that interests you and do it. Go out to the park or the beach and expose yourself to nature.

4.Complete your homework / house work / office work
Once you reach home, don’t reach for the device, do your assigned work first. It will help keep you away from the internet. 
Be conscious of and regulate your sleeping pattern

5.Hang out with real friends in real places in the real world
Play games, go out, walk around and generally don’t carry your internet device

6.Limit your time with internet devices.
Write down a net time limit for the day and generally stick to it – by hook or by crook. 
Use a public computer; you won’t be tempted to browse sites that are inappropriate as also will be able to limit your time on the net.  
Try to stay off websites that are addictive like gaming and porn.

7.Call people instead of messaging them
This is the best way to avoid getting addicted. Phones are meant to call not to message – use them for what they are meant.

I urge you to check if you or your children are addicted to the internet today and initiate steps to prevent them from falling prey to the fastest growing clinical disorder in the world – Internet Addiction. Indeed life was good when apple and blackberry were fruits and the galaxy meant the milky way.

Pregnant Woman Swims Across River for Delivery

Yellava is 22 years old and nine months pregnant. She is about to have her first baby and she is extremely possessive and concerned about it. Naturally.  However, she does not have the facility or the luxury of a monthly scan, a hospital nearby or the comfort of dietary supplements, that urban mothers  have.

Yellavva is the second wife of Gaddi Balappa a daily wage labourer, who does not have any affection for her. Consequently, after she conceived, she could only depend on her parents for succor and resided with them at   Neelakantarayanagadde in Yadgir district's Surapur taluk, an island that is marooned in the monsoon by the marauding Krishna River that surrounds it with the nearest hospital at kekkere, only 4 kms from her village, but across the river.

Yellavva's pregnancy was normal in its course, but shorn of the fancy medical care that urban mothers are used to – No special diet and no pre natal exercise. She did not have emotional support of a loving husband or group pre natal interactions. "Both my dad and mom work as laborers. I am the oldest of seven children. Except for bajra rotis, subsidized rice and some vegetables, I ate nothing else ever since I conceived. “She told a Bangalore daily.

However, as the monsoon set in, she  became anxious more about the rising river levels than the pain of child birth – She did not want to be stranded on the island without adequate medical care, when it was time to have her baby.  As her pregnancy progressed, she desperately wanted to shift to the mainland.

She constantly persuaded her brothers and father to shift her to the mainland, but their social circumstances were such, that her pleas fell on deaf ears. 

On Wednesday, however, the Krishna swelled like never before, after excess water from Bassava Sagara reservoir, 10-km upstream, was let into the river.  

Yellavva and her family had little choice now - remain on the island or swim across the raging river as none of the boatmen were willing to take her across seeing the condition of the river.

There were a couple of facts that she and her family had to ignore in this risky endeavor - Yellavva did not know swimming and was 9 months pregnant.

But when the decision to swim across was taken by father and her family, she didn’t hesitate.

“This is my first baby and my love for it is enormous. Though there are rustic pregnancy-care and delivery practices in the village, I yearned to reach the nearest hospital in time. But as the water levels started rising menacingly and no boatman was ready to take me across, I got desperate and chose to swim as the baby is due to arrive any time," Yellava  told a  Bangalore English daily soon after a Venkatesh Dore, a reporter with a Kannada daily, had first reported her daring act.

"I don't know how to swim. Whenever we went to the river to wash clothes, we used to flap our hands and limbs. Even when I was about to plunge in, I protested. Praying to gods I jumped into the river only to fall back. It was so cold and suffocating, even at that hour; it was 10 am. The strong currents kept dragging me. But then my brothers tied dried pumpkins and bottle gourd on either side to maintain buoyancy," she said 

Her brother Lakshman led the way, while her father Hanumappa, kept pace with her on their exhausting journey across the river. Two male relatives followed them.

 As they swam, the water levels began rising and the water splashed on her face, making it difficult for her to breathe. As the current dragged her into the river, she was pushed on to her back, but with her father’s help she turned on to her stomach and continued to swim, flapping her limbs and hands. Half an hour into the swim, Yellavva had reached only the middle of the river was exhausted and had started to drink the water of the river to alleviate her fatigue. This made things worse for her.

She felt herself going under. "It was so scary. Then all those swimming around me started to push me one after another while my brother swimming in the front began dragging me by holding on to the rope. About 45 minutes later, we managed to reach the shores on Gollapallera Doddi village on the other side of the bank," Yellavva recalled. 

Normally the half kilometer swim takes around half an hour, but the grueling swim took them over 90 minutes "Rather than swimming straight against the current, we chose to swim in a diagonal direction by adjusting ourselves with the current. Hence, it was more than a kilometer’s distance and took close to about two hours to finish the stretch," Jattappa, Yellavva's cousin told the Bangalore daily.

According to Yellavva, four or five people watching the flowing river, from the banks were surprised to see them swimming across. They helped them out of the water, but were soon spewing venom at them especially her father for undertaking this venture in her condition.  But his response shamed them. “what if she had died on the island awaiting medical help?"

Even as they admired her grit and determination, the villagers, conscious of her exhausted plight, immediately warmed her with towels, and shifted her to a relative’s house to recuperate. Doctors have reported that both the mother and yet-unborn baby are doing well.

Scores of village islands in North Karnataka bear the brunt of the river each monsoon and the government must do something about it …. fast.

The tale of a blocked trade deal and a dented image

A blocked trade deal and a dented image - NewskarnatakaJP rode to power on the basis of Prime minister Modi’s popularity among the middle class and the industrialists, both of whom who were keen that, India liberalizes, and facilitates manufacturing and trade.  The BJP Manifesto and Arun Jaitley’s budget promised the same.

There are several hindrances to internal trade and even more to external trade and as India is the world’s second largest market and both its imports and exports are growing, customs valuations the world over are the key to trade growth. The turnaround time for cargo and Transaction costs are high and it is not for nothing that India is ranked by the world Bank's Doing Business Indicators at 132 out of 189 for trading across borders.

The Trade Facilitation agreement:

Customs valuations are a methodology that countries use to value imported goods in order to collect duty.

The WTO Bali Ministerial encompassed three major issues that resulted in partial agreements a. The TFA (trade facilitation agreement), b. An agreement to negotiate a permanent settlement of food subsidies and stocking of food grains to be negotiated by 2017 and an action plan for the least developed countries.

The TFA was to have set international rules that must be followed by all participating countries and avoid the imbalances and the capriciousness of the present. It was meant to simplify customs procedure, facilitate speedy relaease of goods from ports and cut transaction costs.

India’s refusal to play ball:

But along came the shocker, on a matter of principle no doubt, but still a shocker. The new Indian government, perceived and bandied as business and trade friendly  rejected the TFA – Trade Facilitation agreement that was almost sealed through several back channel negotiations after India in principle agreed for  the same at the Ministerial round in Bali in December 2013 pending an assurance and a timeframe on a food security deal that would have allowed India to safety net its poor. This despite having unilaterally put in place almost  all that is required under the TFA, including a substantial part of what is called the 'best endeavor' clauses, i.e. non-binding but recommended trade facilitation reforms.

India’s principled stand apparently emerged out of its concern for its poor. It had no reason to, as it had been previously agreed that a deal on Food security and subsidies that India had pushed hard for at Bali, was due only 2017 and the two were unconnected. India linked the two, saying no to the trade deal without the Food deal, possibly motivated by electoral dividends, but also worried about a domestic political backlash.

India’s stand has weakened the WTO, and this is not a good development for India and developing countries. The countries are now trying to enter into bilateral and multilateral deals on trade. India is likely to be left out of these deals. That is disadvantage India.

The Government defence:

John Kerry, was in New Delhi when India rejected the WTO agreement and certainly he was surprised at the turn of events. Perhaps it was unexpected that a prime minister and a party that was passionate about taking India forward globally was adamant and in his opinion, displaying regressive behavior. He told Modi on Friday that by blocking the trade pact, he was sending negative signals. "The failure to sign the (WTO) agreement undermined the very image Modi is trying to send about India," according to a US State Department official.

Seemingly, Modi is following an India first policy, be it in trade, in Politics or in foreign affairs. Is India first always beneficial to India?

Senior members of the party defended India’s blocking of the trade deal saying that the UPA had frittered away the  nationalist vision in its eagerness to please the world. On the other hand, the Vajpayee government pursued the same policy despite severe global criticism when it conducted Nuclear tests to the ire of the western world thus demonstrating the same India first Policy

"We will not compromise on national interest," said Jayant Sinha, a lawmaker from the ruling Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP).

A dent in Modi’s business friendly image:

Blocking an almost finalized and definitely beneficial trade deal, albeit on a matter of principle that was on the verge of being  agreed to, does send a wrong message to investors, traders. India is in dire need of FDI and realizing this reality, the Jaitley budget opened up railways insurance and defense to FDI.   Despite its strident opposition while in the opposition, it has till date, not scrapped the UPA initiative of FDI in retail, treading softly.

Apart from India’s image among businessmen waiting to invest in India, India’s capacity to grow at a faster rate will be curbed by the piecemeal approach of reforms in Modi’s first budget. "The message that India's action on the trade facilitation agreement indicates is a black mark against being the investment-friendly, more business-friendly environment that one was hoping this government was going to seek," said US National Association of Manufacturers vice president of international economic affairs, Linda Dempsey."It makes foreign investors a bit more skittish about what they are going to expect out of the new government." She added.

Modi’s firm hand can easlity be seen in the decision to refuse to sign on the dotted line, pending a concrete deal on food security. On July 22nd, he met with Arun Jaitley, the finance minister and Nirmala Seetharaman the Commerce minister, without aides and it was at this meeting the decision was taken to distance itself from India’s assurances at the Bali meeting.

With this it is clear, that the Indian government will stand up for its rights in the world, no matter the economic or political consequences, a move that will delight Modi’s numerous fans but might disappoint the world. Whether India benefits from this stand or not, only time will tell.  However certainly it has dented his business friendly face and the pock marks are starting to show.

The Written Word

The Written Word -

the black on white,

the contrast sans colour,

gives us so much more 

than pixels on a screen

or a picture on paper.

It cements, it separates,

the ties that bind;

it  documents , it explains

the beasts of humankind;

it provokes, it inspires 

the hate notes, the love lines;

it creates, it  fosters

the  fears,  the mines.

All the while

with the written word inside,

a thought, a feeling;

and for a while, outside

a tear, a frown,  a smile!

For after all, 

with the written word, we have 

a family tree,

a chance to be free;

an  Atom  bomb,

and a shot  at the  honey comb;

If not for the written word

We’d have no history!

and a question would  remain

who are we?

Poems - The Writing of....

Poems – I read them and recite them,

And now I must write them!

I prayed before the start

For inspiration, and for words

To flow from my heart!

Still I worry and I’m fright

About who and what to write!

The few lines I’ve wrote

Are but my feelings and my thoughts -

I hope they read like poetry, and not a note!

A poem, a poem – I’m glad I’ve written one

It was easier than I thought, and real nice fun.

I hope by now, you’ve learnt the art

Of turning your thoughts, from better into verse -

Just say your prayers, and you are ready to start!

The need for emotional competence at work

All humans have basic emotional needs. Each of us has similar, but different emotional needs. Emotional needs vary more in degree than in type. Emotional needs vary more than physical needs.  Emotional needs are more basic and more important than "rights".  Our bodies communicate with others and us, to tell us what we need.  The better our communication, the better we feel. Emotions help us establish our boundaries.  Emotions have the potential to unite and connect us. Emotions can serve as our inner moral and ethical compass and are essential for good decision making. What doesn't feel good to us normally doesn't feel good to others.

Negative feelings are indications of our unmet emotional needs. Feelings are real and are not debatable. Invalidation of feelings destroys self-esteem.  High self-esteem is needed for productivity, job satisfaction, and customer service.   Group harmony requires both mutual need satisfaction and mutual respect of feelings. Low Self Esteem, which is by product of our unmet emotional needs, produces the opposite effect and often results in indiscipline.

But to understand the importance of this, we must first be in touch with our own feelings, which is a measure of our Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence refers to the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.  Salvoey & Mayer defined emotional intelligence in terms of being able to monitor and regulate one’s own and other’s feelings, and to use feelings to guide thought & action. A simple definition of Emotional Intelligence is “knowing how you and others feel and what to do about it.”  Emotional intelligence is therefore, a combination of competencies. These skills contribute to a person’s ability to manage and monitor his or her own emotions, to correctly gauge the emotional state of others and to influence opinions. Goleman describes a model of five dimensions. Each area has its own set of behavioral attributes as follows.

1.    Self-awareness is the ability to recognize a feeling as it happens, to accurately perform self-assessments and have self-confidence. It is the keystone of emotional intelligence. 

2.    Self-management or self-regulation is the ability to keep disruptive emotions and impulses in check (self-control), maintain standards of honesty and integrity (trustworthiness), take responsibility for ones performance (conscientiousness), handle change (adaptability), and be comfortable with novel ideas and approaches (innovation).  This has very important applications for Discipline.

3.    Motivation is the emotional tendency guiding or facilitating the attainment of   goals. It consists of achievement drive (meeting a standard of excellence), commitment (alignment of goals with the group or organization), initiative (acting on opportunities), and optimism (persistence reaching goals despite set backs).

4.    Empathy is the understanding of others by being aware of their needs, perspectives, feelings and concerns, and sensing the developmental needs of others.

5.    Social skills are fundamental to emotional intelligence. They include the ability to induce desirable responses in others by using effective diplomacy to persuade (influence); listen openly and send convincing messages (communicate); inspire and guide groups and individuals (leadership); nurture instrumental relationships (building bonds); work with others toward a shared goal (collaboration, cooperation); and create group synergy in pursuing collective goals.

Emotional Competence on the other hand is a learned Capability based on Emotional Intelligence that results in outstanding performance at Work.  Emotional Competence shows how much of that potential we have translated into on the job capabilities. Emotional Competence has practical applications in these specific areas:

1.    Conflict Resolution - The ability to de-escalate conflicts and to use conflict as a source of valuable feedback and improvement. The treatment of feelings, both that of the customer and of the employee, as an important variable in the total success formula.

2.    Customer Service - Learning how to help your customers feel heard, understood, helped, served, respected, valued and important.

3.    High Technology Management - Helping technical experts improve their emotional & people skills; i.e. creating a high-tech, high-touch workplace.

4.    Hiring and Placement - Selecting employees with relatively high emotional intelligence and EQ and better placement matching.  Turnover, Turnover reduction through helping employees feel appreciated, recognized, supported, challenged, rewarded and respected.

5.    Training - Raising EQ at all levels of the business through Emotional Literacy and EQ awareness workshops.

6.    Corporate Culture or Climate - Creating an environment where employees feel safe, trusted, special, needed, included, important, cooperative, focused, productive, motivated, respected and valued.

7.    Productivity - Developing intrinsic motivation. Increasing employee commitment, cooperation and cohesion. Reducing lost time spent on conflicts, turf-battles, defensiveness and insecurity.

8.    Goal Setting - Setting goals which include feelings. For example, stating the goal that we want customers to feel satisfied, appreciated, etc. and setting similar goals for employees, and then getting feedback on feelings and measuring and tracking performance.

9.    Long term reduction of health care costs - Negative emotions such as fear, worry, anxiety, and stress have been shown to reduce the functioning of the immune system, increase blood pressure, increase chance of heart attacks, prolong recovery times, cause migraine headaches, and increase the risk of cancer. On the other hand, emotional support has been shown to have tangible health benefits. In one study, for example, terminally ill cancer patients who received one hour per week of emotional support lived twice as long as those who did not receive such emotional support.

10. Leadership - The leader with high EQ is first of all emotionally aware. This means he is aware of his own feelings and is not limited to logic, intellect and reasons when making decisions and managing people. He is also able to read the unverbalized emotions in others. In addition, he is emotionally literate in that he is able to concisely articulate emotions; he has a broad vocabulary of feeling words at his quick disposal He is emotionally secure. In other words, he does not feel threatened by others or their differing opinions or beliefs. Thus he does not easily become defensive or angered. Also, he acknowledges his fears and encourages others to do likewise. He is empathetic. He tends to accept others and show compassion, rather than to be demanding and intolerant. He treats all feelings with respect. He is inspiring and motivating. He is able to understand what motivates his individual employees and he adjusts his management style to their unique     values and motives. 

11. Top Management - Top management's emotional style and emotional self-management is critical to company's EQM. When the executive values feelings, so will the managers and the employees. Also, research confirms what common sense would suggest: Emotions are contagious. Thus, if the executives feel optimistic, confident, creative, flexible, tolerant, respectful, and compassionate, the employees will tend to take on these same feelings. Research also indicates that the direction of emotional flow is from top down, as we might expect, since anyone in power has, by default, more influence.

It is clear from the above that an Employee’s Unmet Emotional Needs cause the majority of problems at work - When an employee has negative feelings which are the result of Unmet Emotional Needs he is more critical, aggressive, judgmental, closed-minded, non-accepting, disapproving, impatient and inflexible. Common negative feelings among employees are feelings of being Disrespected, Unappreciated, Unfulfilled, Unchallenged, Unmotivated, Apathy, Exploited, Bored, Criticized, Unsupported, Hindered, Over-controlled, Underestimated, Powerless, Overworked, Underpaid, Stressed, Judged, Replaceable, Unimportant, Afraid and Insecure.

Some of the more desirable feelings which Management can help create are the feelings of being Respected, Acknowledged, Supported, Helped, Trusted, Appreciated, Important, Special, Irreplaceable, Useful, Needed, Valued and valuable.  These positive feelings help an employee’s emotional needs to be satisfied, and he feels better - he is more productive, motivated, adventurous, patient, complimentary, creative, cooperative, open-minded, flexible, understanding, empathetic, compassionate, accepting. 

 

The need for managerial EQ, in fact, has only intensified as structural changes have swept through the workplace. In decades past, a boss probably could ignore his employees' emotional lives - workers were in effect told to leave their emotions at home, and most complied. No more.  As organizations have shifted to a more team-based workplace, you're asking employees for commitment and passion - to bring both their brains and hearts to the job. Along with this, you have to expect people will bring their emotions to work, too," says Patricia J. Addesso, a San Diego management consultant and author of Management Would Be Easy - If It Weren't for the People (Amacom). You cannot ignore emotions - not if you want to get passion from your workers." 

Top management's emotional style and emotional self-management is critical to an organization’s EQM. When the Chief Executive values feelings, so will the managers and the employees. Also, research confirms what common sense would suggest: Emotions are contagious. Thus, if the executives feel optimistic, confident, creative, flexible, tolerant, respectful, and compassionate, the employees will tend to take on these same feelings. Research also indicates that the direction of emotional flow is from top down, as we might expect, since anyone in power has, by default, more influence.

Management therefore needs to

a.        Make the organization a place of mutual respect for feelings.

b.        Identify the key feelings important for success. 

c.        Establish feeling goals for employees and customers.

d.        Use a simple scale such as 0-10 to track feelings.

e.        Start respecting an Employee’s feelings and start assigning value to them.

f.         Include feelings in decision-making and problem resolution.

g.        Listen to the most sensitive people in the organization.

h.        Strike a balance between emotion and logic.

i.         Develop EQ skills throughout the organization and Prohibit invalidation of feelings. Enhancement of the Emotional Quotient throughout the organization has a positive effect on Discipline and in the long run on an organization’s performance.

In order to enhance the Emotional Competence throughout the organization, all of us who work in organizations have to ensure that emotions are integrated into our daily life.  The more they are integrated into our life, the higher our EQ is likely to be.  But whether we score high or low, the good news is that we all can raise our Emotional Competence and consequently the Emotional Competence Index of the Organization.

What are the steps?

1.    Make a decision to change.

2.    Learn to reflect - Learn to reflect on what's going on inside yourself. And if you don't know what's going on inside yourself emotionally, you cannot know what's going on inside others.

3.    Emotional Control - Listen to what you're telling yourself, but don't assume what you hear is immutable. You can change it. You can tell yourself something different - and that means you can change and regulate your moods. Of course, not all emotions should be hidden from your staff - that would be a step backward. But when you can control which emotions you show, then you are that much polished a leader."

4.    Practice empathy - There's no mystery about how to strengthen empathy. It boils down to practicing active listening skills. But it takes concentration to pick up on the emotions that are coming across in a conversation." For instance, if an employee says that customer is picking on me, don't just focus on the facts - delve into the underlying emotions. Is he pouting? Mad? Explore the subtext because there likely is one.

5.    Validate the emotions of others - That means acknowledging their emotions, even if they are different than what you'd feel in the same situation. This doesn't mean you need to surrender to their every emotion. Be sensitive to others, but don't let their emotions rule you."

In the end, the best way to enhance your Emotional Competence is to put yourself in others’ shoes.  If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too!