The Child in me

 “The Child is the father of the man”, said William Wordsworth centuries ago in his poem “My heart leaps up”.  It is still a universally accepted maxim, because time and Google have tested it. 

This truism becomes evident when man behaves like one, craving for affection, dependent, and subservient to  his partner even is his wildest moments (that’s the politically correct word) - asking for chocolates and getting reprimanded, asking for freedom and sent to the corner, asking for a sleep over and being grounded!

I too have one in me. But I come from a patriarchal family, and I tell him to shut up almost as often as he rears his head. I know what’s best for him and more importantly, me. I've seen life on earth for over half a century, but thanks to the child in me, I like to believe that I don’t have that kind of experienced look on my face!.  There's more to come.

My child is kind of bubbly and rebellious, and the bubbles surface, quite often, when protocol and political correctness demand otherwise. Our dialogue often goes like this, when I come home from office, after what I think is a particularly successful day for me.

“Come on Dad, I want to celebrate. Let’s go out to a restaurant tonight and have fun”.  “I know, I too want to, but Mum is not feeling well and the kids have exams, I say rather disappointedly (this before my wife even tells me that - By now I am attuned to her thinking on various subjects) “Oh Come on dude”.. he starts again, “you've forgotten how to have fun, you are such an old fogey”.

He continues to harangue me. I tell him to shut up. He gets repressed, I get depressed....and the rebellion begins.  I sulk and go quiet - all of a sudden. My wife and kids wonder what’s happened to this guy, who till a moment ago was all smiles and in a good mood – They put it down to mood swings associated with Men when they pause.

Is the child in me,  male or female?  Sometimes I believe it's the opposite gender, when unexpectedly, as I am making a speech that narrates an event of compassion or goodness among human beings, something I value very much, tears well up. People find it strange.  A grown man crying! But let me tell you, I am not prone to it…. My kid is.

It’s happened before, when I gave a farewell speech to my staff as I departed my last employment. There were tears in my eyes, and I had to leave the room in the middle of the speech. People called me emotional, but it was the child in me that egged me on to become a scientist - generate water from nothing.

But it’s good to have a child in you… they tend to keep you young.

They are innocent and guileless, but they have to compete with the adult who is full of guile, guilt and delusions of grandeur, and often it’s no competition. 

3/2/16