Satire: The week that was Dec 17 to 23

 Brian Fernandes   ¦     Dec 23, 2017 11:04:39 AM (IST)

 

“Laughter is an instant vacation.” said Milton Berle. Here at NK, we would like to contribute to lightening your mood in preparation for a meaningful and relaxed weekend. So here's a tongue- in-cheek look at the events of the week gone by that you’ve been waiting for :)

Victimised! Modified! These two Phrases headlined the last phase of campaigning in the Gujarat Elections. It’s a no brainer that the biggest news headline of the week was the result of the Gujarat and Himachal Pradesh Elections and I have to address it right at the outset, else I’ll be trolled! But I’ll take that liberty – I’m not sure I have it any more though, given the ‘reasonable and unreasonable restrictions’ gathering steam – to return to it later in the column.

As I said, there were far more interesting headlines, for most of us at least– A New Year event organiser moved the Karnataka High Court to get the authorities to grant permission for their Sunny Leone New Year Event in Bengaluru in progressive Karnataka, after they had been denied permission citing security reasons. It’s not clear whose security they were concerned with – hers or the crowd’s, given the events on MG Road last year. Reports have it that all she was to do was cut a cake at the stroke of midnight, signalling the dawn of the New Year – and insecurity took the cake! One thing’s for sure, the people would have loved to bask in the sun at night on New Year’s Eve but the presence of Sunny at night sent the culture vultures into a tizzy apparently. Viewing the Sun at night – never! Unless it’s a solar eclipse! Latest media reports say, that the sun has done a self-eclipse, leaving the other stars to provide the light (and the heat), and it’s quite likely that the dawn of the New Year will be dark and cold, for Bengalureans at least.

While Bengalureans may yearn for the sun to light up their lives on New Year’s Eve, the Bruhat Bengaluru Mahanagara Palike (BBMP) has other plans. It plans to replace 4.85 lakh (working and more non-working) sodium vapour street lamps with LED’s without spending a paisa. The strategy is brilliant, but the investment will have to be made by the private company that bags the contract and the tender is still very tender! It is learnt that every month, the BBMP pays Rs 12 crores to power the street lights. The power bill with LED lights will be around Rs 6 crores. The balance Rs 6 crores in savings will be split 75:25 in favour of the investor over 10 years to enable them to recoup their investment. They will also maintain it for free saving the BBMP Rs 30 crorse annually.Who needs the sun with such brilliance?

Sorry for the detour. Back to the main headline - While the Himachal result was a foregone conclusion – they have alternated their government every five years since 1977 – Wise people they are, much like the southern state of Kerala - the election result in Gujarat was a humdinger in its early stages as evidenced by the ebb of the stock market, till the BJP pulled ahead and won the match on the basis of a slender first innings lead for a record sixth time. The Combo of Virat and Ravi are a formidable winning partnership with their attacking and emotionally appealing style of cricket irrespective of the runs on the board!

Post the hard and bitterly fought victory it seemed like a win-win situation for all – for the BJP who claimed a vindication of their economic reforms, and for the Congress who claimed victory in defeat- albeit moral - for their new president. That’s the final lesson of this election and those to come – Winning is all in the mind like many other biological functions! Nevertheless, the confusion as to whether to treat the dhokla, a Gujarati delicacy, as cake and halwa be counted as jelly and be taxed differently now stands resolved for the sweeter!

You WannaCry? If your company is dependent on software for its service delivery and management, you may HAVE actually cried earlier this year. All because of one man according to Trump. You guessed wrong. It’s not Putin, but Kim Jong Un. Earlier this year the WannaCry computer worm affected more than 230,000 computers in over 150 countries and nobody knew whom to blame, but Russia, the favourite whipping boy for all things that go wrong in the USA – We have a parallel too you know! Now however, Russia is good friend of the USA, and they don’t want to waste their trump card so the US has now declared that North Korea carried out the massive WannaCry cyber attack – based on credible evidence of course – and there is one more WMD to destroy. They say it’s probably a precursor to a missile attack - when they will shut down all American systems, before launching their missiles. Makes you wanna cry no?

There are other things happening in India that make you wanna cry! Once touted as a means to deliver governmental benefits directly to you, it has been turned on its head and is now a means for you to deliver benefits to the government! Your money and your life! And media reports say it doesn’t even stay with them! If you do, you are dammed and if you don’t, you are doomed. You are bombarded with threatening SMS’s and irritating ring tones, making you want to throw your costly iPhone against the wall – the problem is you have purchased it after producing your Aadhaar – so the government will be aware of who and why you threw it against the wall.

From Pan Cards to IT Returns, from mutual funds to bank accounts, from telephone numbers to the Urban Property Ownership Records scheme (UPOR) the Aadhaar number is a prerequisite without it being officially one and still subjudice. You are caught between a rock and a hard place – your employer refuses to grant you paid leave to stand in the queue to obtain the Aadhaar or link it, and the services that demand it just don’t want to make it easy for you to do it! The latest to jump on the bandwagon are insurance companies and your local cable TV supplier – What’s an Aadhaar no. got to do with them? Do they want to keep tabs on which news channel you watch – not that it makes much of a difference! Keep it ready for the milk booth and public sochalay next. You will need it and you will be unable to find it if you are in a hurry. What’s intriguing though, is why there is no demand for linking it to the voter ID and property transactions – Indirect benefit transfers I guess.

The Trump Administration, given its name, is very adept at card games. They play their trumps carefully and with calculation. In the ongoing card game, they have praised India as a global power in the National Security Strategy document even as they have put out indications, that they will not allow dependent spouses of H1-B visa holders to be employed on the same visa in the USA! If Melania need not then why should you, is the logic!

I wonder what the fascination is with the word ‘New’! Every time we hear our leaders speak – PM Modi in Delhi and CM Siddaramaiah in Bengaluru and in Newspaper Ads, they speak of building a new India (2022) and a New Karnataka (already being built – work is ongoing) respectively. Both claim that theirs is a government that works – There is some ambiguity as regards whom their governments work for though; And both rely, though one more than the other, on our ancient heritage for inspiration for the new version. If the heritage is so good that it provides inspiration for the deeds of tomorrow, what is the need to replace it with something new I wonder?! Seems like a conundrum to me.

Have a good weekend and a Merry Christmas!

The Indo Pak tryst

It was a little late

in the afternoon,

when India woke up to see

the crescent moon,

in the courtyard of its

Rashtrapathiji….

Resplendent and sanguine

but clean shaven, and already

standing in line…

for a shake of hand

and a verbal toon

from our very own

king over the moon -

Resplendent and sanguine

bearded and waiting

at the head of the line.

Then…

As they sat down to dine,

with POK on the table

and IOK beneath,

The table topic was,

as most would expect,

neither sugary nor refined.

It certainly was

their error of terror;

and our terror of an error,

of what and  how

to peacefully enshrine.

But nothing else mattered

When from afar,

the sound,

it shattered

the ears of peace

and submerged the elation

Of a cherished dream.

It’s then, we realized,

its an apparition created

by the flash of a photographer

And a shawl for his Mother…

A gesture returned

So our step motherly relationship

Might not ferment nor sour…..

World Day Against Child Labor - June 12th 2014 – Social Protection is the key

The next time you sip your tea or glug your fruit juice at the local restaurant or a food joint, keep an eye out for those who clean your table, wash your tea cup, and mop the floor.  The next time you hire a maid, check who accompanies her and helps her wash your clothes and your vessels.  The next time you award a small contract to refurbish your house that requires carpentry, painting or masonry, watch out for those who help  out the artisans, even as your children get ready to go to school.  This is not all. There are other areas of our economy that thrive on children’s physical input – Carpet making, Gem stone industry, Cracker Industry, transportation, Agriculture and the Leisure Industry

The latest International Labor Organization estimates for the world, released in September 2013, indicate that the number of child laborers has declined by one third since 2000, from 246 million to 168 million. The number of children in hazardous work stands at 85 million, down from 171 million in 2000. Most of this advance was achieved between 2008 and 2012, when the global number fell by 47 million, from 215 to 168 million, and the number of children in hazardous work fell by 30 million, from 115 to 85 million.  Despite this progress, the 2016 target set by the international community for the elimination of the worst forms of child labor, as a priority within the global fight for the eradication of all child labor, will not be met.

In India, according to the Census 2001 figures there are 1.26 crore working children in the age group of 5-14 as compared to the total child population of 25.2 crore. There are approximately 12 lakh children working in the hazardous occupations/processes which are covered under the Child Labor (Prohibition & Regulation) Act i.e. 18 occupations and 65 processes. As per a survey conducted by National Sample Survey Organization (NSSO) in 2004-05, the number of working children is estimated at 90.75 lakhs.

The root causes of child labor must be addressed if progress is to be made and social protection is a key part of the alleviation response. Social protection helps to give all children an equal opportunity to fulfill their potential and live healthy, happy and productive lives.

Obviously the primary responsibility for formulating national social protection strategies and expanding the delivery of national social security systems to cover as much of the population as possible rests with government, but workers’ and employers’ organizations and NGO’s also have a key role to play. These social partners can assist the government in integrating child labor concerns into the design, implementation and monitoring of national policies and ensure that they address child labor more effectively.

This year, World Day against Child Labor draws attention to the role of social protection in keeping children out of child labor and removing them from it. Social protection is both a human right and makes sound economic and social sense. Social protection enables access to education, health care and nutrition and plays a critical role in the fight against child labor. In 2013, at the III Global Conference on Child Labor in Brasilia, the international community adopted the Brasilia Declaration, which stresses the need for decent work for adults, free, compulsory and quality education for all children, and social protection for all.

Echoing those priorities, World Day against child labor 2014 calls for action to introduce, improve and extend social protection, in line with the ILO Recommendation No. 202 on social protection floors (basically minimum social gua, National social security systems that are sensitive to children’s needs and help fight child labor and Social protection that reaches out to especially vulnerable groups of children.

Recommendation 202 - Recommendation concerning National Floors of Social Protection

Adoption: Geneva, 101st ILC session (14 Jun 2012)

This Recommendation provides guidance to Members to: (a) establish and maintain, as applicable, social protection floors as a fundamental element of their national social security systems; and  (b) implement social protection floors within strategies for the extension of social security that progressively ensure higher levels of social security to as many people as possible, guided by ILO social security standards. For the purpose of this Recommendation, social protection floors are nationally defined sets of basic social security guarantees which secure protection aimed at preventing or alleviating poverty, vulnerability and social exclusion.

Social protection helps keep children out of work

Poverty and socio economic shocks play a key role in driving children to work.   Poor households are more likely to have to resort to child labor to meet basic needs and deal with uncertainty. Exposure to shocks, resulting in loss of family income, can have a similar effect on household decisions. For example, economic shocks, such an adult member of the family losing his/her job, health-related shocks like a serious illness or an employment injury, and agriculture-related shocks, such as drought, flood and crop failure, can dramatically reduce household incomes and cause children to drop out of school and go to work to contribute to the family income.  Social protection aims at providing support to poor families, and assistance to help them to weather various shocks. Social protection instruments which are most helpful in combating child labor include:

·         Cash and in-kind transfer programmes that enhance income security for families and facilitate access to education and health care, conditional or not, help prevent child labor, and promote enrolling children into schools, taking children for health check-ups.  (India now has several such programmes including  the MNREGA Schemes with the facility of Direct to beneficiary schemes)

·         Public employment programmes, which provide jobs for adults to build and improve roads, schools, health centers and the like, helping to ensure that it is adults who are at work and not children. (India has its MNREGA Schemes)

·         Social health protection, which ensures access to health care and financial protection in case of sickness, and can stop households sending children to work when a member of the household falls ill. ( Several States are grappling with this issue and how to implement it)

·         Maternity benefits, that protect pregnant women and recent mothers and allow caring for new-born children, have a key impact on improving the health of mothers and children and avoid that older children have to work to replace the mothers’ lost income. (this is already in place but inadequate)

·         Social protection for people with disabilities and those who suffer from employment-related injuries or diseases, prevent households from resorting to child labor. (Workmen’s Compensation and Disability Pension are available to such citizens but it’s not enough)

·         Income security in old age, providing pensions to older people helps protect younger generations by contributing to the economic security of the household as a whole. (Old age pensions are available but inadequate)

·         Unemployment protection, which provides adults with at least partial income replacement, reduces the need to rely on the income of working children when facing job loss.  (this is something prevalent in European Countries but not implemented in India due to un-viability)

These instruments complement one another; cash benefits and services need to be well coordinated and corruption free. The Cash to beneficiary system appears to be a useful step in this direction.   There is no single social protection instrument for addressing child labor. A well-designed social security system will include a specific mix of interventions, designed to best fit the national needs.

The Indian Experience:

Child labor in India is an accepted endemic reality.  Officially and legally speaking, anyone employing a child below 14 years of age attracts a maximum jail term of three years of a fine of up to Rs 50,000. But the fact of the matter is, such laws remain only on paper, and are very weakly enforced. In February 2013, the union cabinet had given a nod to amending the existing law against child labor, in which all forms of child labor under the age of 14 years will be banned, any employment of children aged 14-18 years in hazardous work will be illegal, and child labor will become a cognizable offense. As of now, the amendment is back with the labor department owing to the parliamentary standing committee’s request to review and relook the number of provisions in it. But even if the amendment is approved and becomes law, one wonders, will the issue of child labor really end with it? 

So far, government statistics point to around 17 million child laborers in India. Unofficially, the number is believed to be closer to the 100 million mark. 

Way back in 1979, Government formed its first committee, the Gurupadswamy Committee to study the issue of child labor and to suggest measures to tackle it. The Committee examined the problem in detail and made some far-reaching recommendations. It observed that as long as poverty continued, it would be difficult to totally eliminate child labor and hence, any attempt to abolish it through legal recourse would not be a practical proposition. The Committee felt that in the circumstances, the only alternative left was to ban child labor in hazardous areas and to regulate and ameliorate the conditions of work in other areas. It recommended that a multiple policy approach was required in dealing with the problems of working children. 

Based on the recommendations of Gurupadaswamy Committee, the Child Labor (Prohibition & Regulation) Act was enacted in 1986. The Act prohibits employment of children in certain specified hazardous occupations and processes and regulates the working conditions in others.  The list of hazardous occupations and processes is progressively being expanded on the recommendation of Child Labor Technical Advisory Committee constituted under the Act.

In consonance with the above approach, a National Policy on Child Labor was formulated in 1987. The Policy seeks to adopt a gradual & sequential approach with a focus on rehabilitation of children working in hazardous occupations & processes in the first instance. The Action Plan outlined in the Policy for tackling this problem is as follows:

  

• Legislative Action Plan for strict enforcement of Child Labor Act and other labor laws to ensure that children are not employed in hazardous employments, and that the working conditions of children working in non-hazardous areas are regulated in accordance with the provisions of the Child Labor Act. It also entails further identification of additional occupations and processes, which are detrimental to the health and safety of the children.
• Focusing of General Developmental Programmes for Benefiting Child Labor - As poverty is the root cause of child labor, the action plan emphasizes the need to cover these children and their families also under various poverty alleviation and employment generation schemes of the Government.
• Project Based Plan of Action envisages starting of projects in areas of high concentration of child labor. Pursuant to this, in 1988, the National Child Labor Project (NCLP) Scheme was launched in 9 districts of high child labor endemicity in the country. The Scheme envisages running of special schools for child labor withdrawn from work. In the special schools, these children are provided formal/non-formal education along with vocational training, a stipend of Rs.150 per month, supplementary nutrition and regular health checkups so as to prepare them to join regular mainstream schools. Under the Scheme, funds are given to the District Collectors for running special schools for child labor. Most of these schools are run by the NGOs in the district.

ü  This is the major Central Sector Scheme for the rehabilitation of child labor.

ü  The Scheme seeks to adopt a sequential approach with focus on rehabilitation of children working in hazardous occupations & processes in the first instance.

ü  Under the Scheme, survey of child labor engaged in hazardous occupations & processes has been conducted.

ü  The identified children are to be withdrawn from these occupations & processes and then put into special schools in order to enable them to be mainstreamed into formal schooling system.

ü  Project Societies at the district level are fully funded for opening up of special schools/Rehabilitation Centers for the rehabilitation of child labor.

ü  The special schools/Rehabilitation Centers provide:

1.          Non-formal/bridge education

2.          Skilled/vocational training

3.          Mid Day Meal

4.          Stipend @ Rs.150/- per child per month.

5.          Health care facilities through a doctor appointed for a group of 20 schools.

The project societies are required to conduct survey to identify children working in hazardous occupations and processes. These children will then form the target group for the project society. Of the children identified those in the age group 5-8 years will have to be mainstreamed directly to formal educational system through the SSA. Working children in the age group of 9- 14 years will have to be rehabilitated through NCLP schools established by the Project Society.

The Right to Education:

The Right of Children to Free and Compulsory Education Act or Right to Education Act (RTE), is an Act of the Parliament of India enacted on 4 August 2009, which describes the modalities of the importance of free and compulsory education for children between 6 and 14 in India under Article 21a of the Indian Constitution. India became one of 135 countries to make education a fundamental right of every child when the act came into force on 1 April 2010.

The Act makes education a fundamental right of every child between the ages of 6 and 14 and specifies minimum norms in elementary schools. It requires all private schools to reserve 25% of seats to children (to be reimbursed by the state as part of the public-private partnership plan). Kids are admitted in to private schools based on caste based reservations.  It also prohibits all unrecognized schools from practice, and makes provisions for no donation or capitation fees and no interview of the child or parent for admission. The Act also provides that no child shall be held back, expelled, or required to pass a board examination until the completion of elementary education. There is also a provision for special training of school drop-outs to bring them up to par with students of the same age.

The RTE act requires surveys that will monitor all neighborhoods, identify children requiring education, and set up facilities for providing it. The World Bank education specialist for India, Sam Carlson, has observed: “The RTE Act is the first legislation in the world that puts the responsibility of ensuring enrolment, attendance and completion on the Government. It is the parents' responsibility to send the children to schools in the US and other countries.^”

The Right to Education of persons with disabilities until 18 years of age is laid down under a separate legislation- the Persons with Disabilities Act. A number of other provisions regarding improvement of school infrastructure, teacher-student ratio and faculty are made in the Act.

Although the objectives are noble and the effect it will have on child labor immense, states are grappling with its implementation. The Act was challenged by minority institutions in the Supreme Court and on May 7^th 2014, the Supreme Court in a landmark judgment exempted Minority Institutions form the operation of the act.

Conclusion:

The problem of child labor is essentially born out of a number of fundamental issues related to poverty.  Social Protection floors combined with the right to education will make a difference, but it is a long haul. India’s approach is right, but if effort in all its dimensions - motivation, awareness, enforcement and social protection is not adopted, it will fail. At the top of the value chain is the complete elimination of poverty.

We are moving in the right direction but progress is still too slow. If we are serious about ending the scourge of child labor in the foreseeable future, we need a substantial stepping-up of efforts at all levels. There are 168 million good reasons to do so." Guy Ryder, ILO Director-General

Reference and inputs:

Websites:

www.ilo.org

www.en.wikipedia.org

www.labour.nic.in

www.cry.org

Happily ever After

Last year my son came up to me, out of the blue, when his mother was not around and told me Dad I am getting married... I looked at him in awe. He was 25. I was 26 when I got married.

Before I could say, you're mad or awesome - I didn’t say it - so I don’t know which word I'd have chosen, the Statement was followed by a question, Dad will I be happy?  He had a sheepish look on his face.   

He knew, much like an umpire in a one day match, on the fifth ball in the final over, with one ball, one wicket and one run to go, he had already made his lbw decision - the finger was up, but he was still unsure if the ball would have hit the stumps or not!  Don’t worry I told him. You've already made a decision, and batsman is out and the match is over. In a way that's good, coz you may never raise your finger, much less your hand again!

Contest master, fellow toastmasters and my dear friends, in that moment I felt pity for him and for myself – I knew that if I googled it, and I’m sure he had already tried, he would not have found the answer.  So I did what I did best – beat around the bush. 

I looked him up and down, and with gentle voice I said Baba, you have more experience of pain than I had at your age and that’s a good thing - You've already pierced your ear, and you've already bought jewellery for your ear – So you’ve already experienced marriage in a way. That’s a huge step forward. But as to whether you'll be happy... I'll give you an answer, if you tell me why you chose to ask me this question in your mother's absence! 

Again he looked at me strangely.  I anticipated that you would ask me many questions, but not that one Dad, he said. I don’t really know what he meant but I guess he hinted that I already knew the answer.

Now answer my question, he raised his voice, which he rarely did. Obviously he was getting agitated.  I wanted him to figure out the answer himself so I asked him a counter question – Why do husbands die before their wives? I asked him… I don’t know he said. I then had to answer my own question – They want to!.  Bemused he said, Dad, that’s no answer.

So I was not going to get out of this trap easily – reminded me of when my wife told me to explain about the birds and the bees to him.  I found it easier to answer his questions then – all I had to say was if you have experienced the sting of a bee and heard the bird sing at the same time you’ve experienced it all my son.  But this question was oh so difficult!  It was in the realm of a google interview question no less. 

So I tried a different tack. My son was a voracious reader, but not recently. Recently he had fallen in love and had no need for his childhood fairy tales! He was in a real one! So I asked him, you used to love fairy tales and you use to believe in those fairy princesses, with long black hair, lovely moon like eyes, and lips like ripe red cherries! And tall dark handsome princes with rippling biceps and immense fighting skills... Have you stopped believing? Did she lose her sandals or did you look in the mirror this morning? Why the doubt?   He didn’t bat an eyelid. He asked me a counter question – They are fairy tales no? Not love stories – you know how those end…

You’re a pessimist I said, getting irritated. Not like that Dad, he said. I've seen the way you and mum are the happiest couple around (He didn’t say around me!) and I wonder if I can match that. You all don’t argue at all. That’s the doubt!

 Oh, I loved the compliment. I thought I needed to butt in and clarify the situation. Of course we are happy and argument is important, and I do argue with her often, to ensure our marriage stays healthy,. But I do that only when she’s not around!

I thought it best to end this complicated conversation as soon the red flag would enter the room!  With that thought at the back of my mind I told him a secret! There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage so don’t try both times and you have a fighting chance of staying happy. But one bit of advice, don’t get married to stay happy yourself, get married to make her happy, and you’ll never have this doubt again!

No Testing, No Tasting, Easy Peasy!

My favourite alcohol bottle has a label – It reads peter scot and tells the world that its alcohol content is 47.5%. Peter to my mind is distinguished, Scottish sounding and smooth and doesn’t leave a hangover. It’s true I don’t have one this morning but that is because I didn’t visit Peter last night!

 My neighbour’s house is called Prem Vihar – It’s on the pillar.  To my mind the couple inside built this house with their hard earned money brick by brick and they are very loving couple. I’d seen them so too. But not anymore. They are separated. The house is still called Prem Vihar.

I have a pair of shoes that have a black panther drawn across them and are empossed Puma. I did not wear them today as you may get the impression – that I am quick on the sports field.  In actual fact the only animal I can beat in a running race is a tortoise!

Now a days everything has a label. Just visit the supermarket and you will get an idea of the number of labels in existence - Low fat, high fat, Clean active and so on. The label tells you at a glance what to expect of its contents, or if doesn’t, you associate characteristics with the label, based on past experience in your head so that you can make instant decisions rightly or wrongly. The label also plays a big part in adding to the cost or subtracting from it.

But it’s not only inanimate objects that have a label.  Human labels are a plenty. Bully, Dumbo, Fatso, nerd, sicko, psycho, miser, athlete, beauty, bomb, sexy.. even Religious and Racial labels – Hindu, Muslim Christian, White black, Chinky. All Labels – Have you not been labelled – maybe in school, in college at the work place and even in the family – If you do things a particular way always and with attention to detail,  your family labels you an ocd.

So whats wrong with labelling? First lets get whats right. It helps you categorise things and people alike.  Like the books in your school bag – so that you can pull out the Maths notes book in an instant when the teacher says so and the Maths text book when she says so!

 So that you can make instant judgements. Let’s say you want to get your son or daughter married and you are out looking for a spouse.  You decide what’s good for him or her based on the label. If you are a Christian – then any other religious label may not do because of differences in perception, culture and attitude to spousal duties? Pre conceived yes, Judgemental yes, but easy isn’t it?

No tasting, no testing, no work involved just decision making.  Easy Peasy

Secondly if the labels are positive – studious, early bloomers, excellent with numbers, good cricket potential, if the labels are repeatedly sounded, in the presence of the labelled, then it sinks into them and they tend to become what they are naturally not perhaps. So its good. This was seen in an experiment by Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson – They have a long term positive effect.

It would be impossible to catalogue the information we process during our lives without the aid of labels like "friendly," "deceitful," "tasty," and "harmful." But it's important to recognize that the people we label as "black," "white," "rich," poor," smart," and "simple," seem blacker, whiter, richer, poorer, smarter, and simpler merely because we've labeled them so.

Is it simpler to put ourselves and others into boxes of predetermined ideas? Is it easier to think we really know ourselves and others than to actually know them, genuinely and intimately? It seems for most of us that it is. But really, it is not.

How many times have you been labeled –‘slow’, ‘fat’, ‘bad’, ‘selfish’, ‘lazy’, ‘incompetent’? How has it felt? How has it held you back, kept you down? Have those labels – and countless more – made you feel unworthy, insignificant, ashamed, disregarded, suspect? Have they made you feel restricted, inauthentic, imprisoned?

I was a fatty when I was in School and more often than not, though I was pretty good at certain sports like TT Badminton and cricket I was left out of most teams as the captains felt by the look of me that I would not be able to deliver. Judgements were made, and decisions were arrived at on the spot. No testing no Tasting – Easy Peasy. But they affected me!

Can you tell a man or woman’s belief system from the way they look or the colour of their skin. These categories no basis in biology because all blood is red but they nonetheless go on to determine the social, political, and economic wellbeing of their members.

As Ronit Baras puts it, we can all too easily get "trapped by labels". Most troubling, these labels can follow us throughout our lives, long after the label has been lifted.

It’s not only that others label us. We label ourselves Are you a successful career woman, a super mom, a loser, an ugly person, a sex bomb, a “fatty”, a good-for-nothing? We put ourselves in boxes trying to define who we are. We do it to others, and we do it to ourselves. Whether positive or negative, what we whisper to ourselves every day has a great influence on our self-concept, and dictates the direction of our thoughts and actions. More so than the labels attached to us by society. We are what we think we are.

Life is complex and labelling makes things easy.  So my advice to you is label, but label positively.  Yourself and others though labelling others is best avoided – especially children. You live up to the labels you attach to yourself. If you think you’re a winner, even if you’re not, you will act and think like a winner – until you eventually become one. People who like themselves are generally kinder and have a positive outlook. Those who think of themselves kindly are happier.  So  when you look in the mirror next label yourself,  Achiever, Beautiful, Generous, Giving, Compassionate, Friendly, Capable, Intelligent, Smart, etc and youll be a winner.

No testing, No tasting, Easy Peasy.

Its so hard to say it. The word Goodbye!

Goodbye to you my trusted friend

We've known each other since we were nine or ten

Together we've climbed hills and trees

Learned of love and ABC's

Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die

When all the birds are singing in the sky

Now that spring is in the air

Pretty girls are everywhere

Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy, we had fun

we had seasons in the sun

But the hills that we climbed

We’re just seasons out of time

Its so hard to say it.  The Word goodbye. It seems final.  Tyron Edwards said “Every parting is a form of death, as every reunion is a type of heaven. The finality is challenging. It also means change and change is not easy to accept.   What is it, exactly, that makes this so hard? I am 54 years old, married, two kids, and my cholesterol level is just high enough for me to feel both mature and appropriately worried about how this is going to end

I still remember the last day of school so many years ago. We stood in four or five rows the short ones, the sporty ones and the brilliant ones in front – they got to sit with the pretty teachers and us dumb guys grinning at the back. We all knew it was the last day we’ed meet as school mates. I also knew when I get up the next morning I would never return to this place again or see the faces of my classmates in a row as a student and I was sad, terribly sad. People say look ahead. All I could do was look back and believe me I cried and that is they say not the mark of a man. I had closed one chapter in my life - one filled with exploration, development, struggles, and growth. For so many of my fellow classmates, we had been together since kindergarten. We journeyed together, watching each other grow through the innocence of childhood, to the prejudices that develop as young adults. We went from adorable five year olds without a care in the world, to the awkwardness of puberty and the struggles to live up to societal stereotypes. They were like an old sweater or jeans – comfortable.

It happened to me again each when I graduated only then the goodbye meant much more, I was going to leave the safety and security of my friends, my family and go out into the big bad world – literally I would have to fend for myself. The anxiety made it that much harder to say good bye.

The problem is “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.” And in my life of 54 years like in yours, there have been many chapters – My infancy, My truancy, My school days, My college years, My working years and My Marriage and my infamous affair with the Toastmasters. Each of them has an important place in my book. Each time I’ve had to say goodbye, it stuck in my throat like the proverbial adam’s apple.

Goodbye is really hard when you have to say good bye to life. I was in Bangalore, angling for a job in Mangalore to look after my parents when I received a call we all dread – My mother had died.

I was not completely surprised as she had been in a coma for three months but I felt hurt that I didn’t say good bye.  She was in a coma and When my wife and I visited the previous week on the evening we left to Bangalore, her eyes were open and it seemed as if she was looking at us.  She must have been saying goodbye. My relationship with her was invaluable. It was a profund part of who I was of my growth from  rambunctious child to a young married adult. She was a constant source of joy, love, and support, one I came not only to rely on, but also cherish. I loved her as Im sure she loved me.  A part of me died with her that day. I never questioned her love for me; it was incredibly evident each and every time I was in her presence. And while that was a comforting reminder, the loss was intense. I lost my composure several times during her funeral. But deep down she had suffered enough. I said my goodbyes posthumously but what did it mean?

With the last box loaded on to the moving truck, our house appeared just as it did when we first moved in—empty. We had lived in that one bed room apartment in Bengaluru for 12 years. From the time we got married to the time 4 years after the birth of our second child. As we meandered from one room to the next greeted by the sound of a faint echo, my wife and I tried our best to hold back the tears to no avail. We remembered how we first felt as young homeowners. There was an air of excitement and a feeling of accomplishment swirling around the empty rooms of our new home. We celebrated birthdays and anniversaries, we learnt about living with each other, hosted weekend parties for family and friends and grew older while our love grew stronger.  It was a place of solace from the busy and harsh world outside – a place where I could have a drink in peace. It was another goodbye I dreaded but had to accomplish – You may think its to an inanimate object but it was more than that – there were so many memories

So saying Goodbye is never easy. Its negative in its connotation in its emotions. Many of you may remember the cartoo Winnie the Pooh – that cute little teddy bear. The author AA Milne has a different take on the word goodbye. Author A.A. once wrote:  “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

While saying goodbye does mean accepting that a part of our life is now over, it also provides us with a chance to realize just how blessed our lives have been. To look back and reflect on the journeys we’ve shared with some wonderful people, while being exposed to amazing and invaluable experiences we often take for granted. 

How I enjoyed and grew with my friends, enjoyed the nurturing care of my mother and the life we led in that one bedroom apartment. How blessed I am to have those memories and experiences

Regardless of how long someone has been a part of our lives, whether it’s five minutes, five years, or five decades, their impact will always remain with us—even after we utter that simple, yet hard to say, two-syllable word.

My stories above are but a small snapshot of the many times during my personal journey when I’ve struggled to utter the word “goodbye.”

The quote below, from Walt Disney, has continually provided me comfort on days when I’m feeling sad and lonely and need a little reminder of the blessings I’ve been bestowed, which no one can ever take away.

“Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.”

Ralph Smedley

We are all members of the Toastmaster’s International, advanced members at that, and proud of it. We are in the throes of its 94^th year, and yet we rejoice, because membership in this august club has given us a sense of time, a manner of speaking and a social support system that we all cherish.  We owe all of this to one man – Ralph C. Smedley, the founder of Toastmaster’s international.

The name toastmaster though was suggested by the secretary of the YMCA – George Sutton, without a toast in hand. Taking a cue from him, today I’d like to raise a toast in the form of a eulogy to Ralph C Smedley in advance of his 52^nd death anniversary which falls in September.

Ralph Smedley was the third child to Thomas Braxton Smedley and his second wife Martha Ann Rice.  After Ralph Smedley’s older sister, Bertha, died of Diphtheria at age seven before Ralph was born, his grieving mother dressed him in girls clothes until he was about three. Perhaps that was where he developed his love of speech.

He finally wore short pants at age five. 

Incidentally their respective fathers in law where on opp sides in the US Civil war and may have clashed in Georgia – That was before their children were married. After they were married – they sat on the porch and argued over wine.

Though he was born in Waverly, Illinois, USA in the 19^th Century, February 1878 to be precise, he never wavered from his goal to make the world a better place.  He started in 1905 and never gave up till he died in September 1965.  And that doesn’t mean he was not successful!

Now how did he do that?

Well most us use the power of intelligible speech to take our lives forward in some way or the other. We use our tongue to cheat, cajole, cheer, confuse, convince or communicate and get ahead in life.  Smedley recognised this fact early on, but he also realised that some needed help to do it or they would be left behind in the race for a better life.  He wrote the manual on how to do it and created a business, a very profitable one albeit registered as a not for profit organization.

Consider this, Toastmasters international has approx. 345000 members 15900 clubs in 142 countries – Its board meeting is like the UN Security Council Meet, without permanent members or vetos though.  It generates in excess of Rs: 200 Crores in revenues annually and is still growing. Like any multinational corporate entity it has a hierarchical organization structure, and the trickledown effect is akin to the plight of Indian taps in a poor monsoon year.  

Besides his stupendous leadership success in creating an international organization, that flourishes and grows much like a banyan tree, Ralph C. Smedley wrote 10 books along the way.  From titles like the Amateur Chairman to the professional speaker, sorry, the advanced speaker, Smedley touched our lives in many manual ways.  In 1952, by which time he was 74 years old, he wrote a book titled Speech Engineering: 25 Ways to Build a Speech (1952) and we struggle to do that even today – we need mentors!

There are two perhaps little known facts about our hero. One is that he was never called by his full name Ralph Chestnut Smedley for a variety of reasons. He always went by the proper noun Ralph C. Smedley! While at college he was the President of the Epworth Club, an on-campus club affiliated with the Methodist church.  Guess who was the recording secretary of the same club?  Frances Bass!  the girl he married in 1904 soon after graduation. Ralph first met her on September 9, 1901 at the home of their Methodist minister, Reverend G.A. Scott.  He must have to taught her to say “yes” when he popped the question. No doubt about it. They married soon after in 1904. They had one daughter Betty Smedley who died in 1994 leaving us Advanced TM’s orphans.

Smedley loved to speak about speaking. Let me read out some of my favourite quotes.

"There are no absolutes in public speaking."

"We need fewer rules on detail and better understanding of general purposes." 

"When you talk, you give yourself away. You reveal your true character in a picture which is more true and realistic than anything an artist can do for you." 

The unprepared speaker has a right to be afraid."

"The club whose membership is shrinking has something the matter with it."

Ladies and Gentlemen Put your hands together for the man who created it all with his tongue. Today we realise its more powerful than the sword and pen put together!