The Last Puff

 The Last Puff - Daijiworld

The Last Puff

A new beginning is what I need

My lungs are about to bleed?

I hope that it will soonest start –

delay is but a malignant seed.

My mind’s all made up,

Coz’ I fear the end,

I’ll do it soon

I’ll not extend.

Is it now, or later today?

Will I, or won’t I ?

It’s a decision,

that’s colored grey.

While the end seems far

the beginning’s near

Can I stay the distance?

Is my interim fear.

I’ve done it before

I’ve had good starts,

but then, as always,

there’s been nothing more.

I watch with glee,

the wispy wavy vaporous gray

that lingers in the air.

and flick the staining residue

that adorns my gleaming shoe.

For the last time, or so I think,

I tauten my lips around the end;

And enjoy,

the tangy taste, the sharp intake

of a deep breath and C O two.

 I feel the rush, as I round the bend,

and I rest assured,

That for the moment

 I’m on the mend.

But what if, my painful end,

My greatest fear

is coming near?

A new beginning

is what I need, before

I start to bleed.

But, again I’m sure,

that once I cease,

I’ll have to seek,

perhaps to find,

the profound answer

to the naughty question

of what will I do

with my nicotine obsessed mind?

Certainly,

I’d pop the sweets,

with regularity, and risk

obesity and diabetes.

There’ll always be jeers,

and maybe, just maybe

a few more beers

A new beginning? I'd like that.

Oh yes! I’m sure I will;

with a committed heart,

I’ll get a good start,

but as the end nears

I’ll wonder again,

If I’ll abandon myself,

to the comfort

of my  fears.

Marriage - A Tale of Evolution

 Marriage - A tale of evolution - Daijiworld

25 years ago I heard these words at altar of the St. Sebastian’s church at Bendur in the lilting voice of my then bride and now wife Ophelia:

I, (Ophelia), take you, (Brian), for my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I had made the commitment first as per tradition, and was very anxious to hear her repeat those words after me.

What if she didn’t….? But she did as she had promised me earlier.

Her words became my awesome moment - A moment at once, of anticipation and trepidation, but believe me, once done, it promised immense fun.

Marriage is an awesome moment in any man’s life; and here I must confess, I am gender neutral.  It’s the moment of truth - he is now coveted, committed, consequential and carried away – both literally and figuratively.

He has to forget the past and create a future, a future for two, and possibly plus two. He has to unlearn the number 1, its spelling, and its limitless fun.  He has to follow where the other leads, and bandage where the former bleeds.

Carol Mcgiffin Said, Marriage is like going bald – there is no parting. Having done the deed, man must wonder – how did he get himself into this?  Was it something he wanted, yearned or panted for? Or was this momentary greatness thrust upon him – by those who had married before him? His parents? Or hers for that matter?

In the days of yore, it was the gothra, the group and the grandpa that decided, who what and when. No doubt, the color of money tinted the decision glasses any which way, and still does, opticians included.

In the meanwhile, as the world moved from Moses’ stone tablets to Steve’s Phone tablets, a blind folded, winged cupid, with a spear in hand, also known in Latin as Amor, often portrayed as the son of the love goddess Venus, clandestinely entered the fray, as a match maker par excellence. 

Shakespeare, in a midsummer’s night dream explains cupids form and role beautifully:

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, 
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. 
Nor hath love's mind of any judgment taste; 
Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste. 
And therefore is love said to be a child 
Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

Cupid is winged because lovers are flighty and likely to change their minds, and boyish because love is foolish and irrational. His symbols are the arrow and torch, "because love wounds and inflames the heart."

But Cupid is not always present at the beginning of the epic, especially in India.  He often enters surreptitiously, during that vulnerable time between the platinum and the cesarean.

Finding the right soul mate is unlike the search for Playboy’s playmate.  It’s often confused, complicated and convoluted. However, there are several aids, from Cupid himself to the traditional matchmaker, with the .com  process in between.  The .com selection process has itself evolved from the ten word “ fair, handsome and rich, without bad habits” ad, to a video presentation  of  all things bright and beautiful. In all of these there is a liberal sprinkling of illusion, delusion, impertinence and impatience.

The traditional match maker survives, but barely, and he too has a website and a mobile. And then there are the preferences of the bride and the groom themselves. Educated, world wise and well informed they are like our parliamentarians – what is proposed they often oppose, and make their views widely known. Ultimately, the famous adage, Marriages are made in heaven, but finalized on earth regularly reiterates itself.

The word "marriage" derives from Middle English mariage, which first appears in 1250–1300 CE This in turn is derived from Old French marier (to marry) and ultimately Latin marītāre meaning to provide with a husband or wife andmarītāri meaning to get married.

Marriage as an institution itself has evolved, from the heterosexual to the homosexual. From the succession certificate to the pre nup agreement.   A couple of years ago, many of you who are television viewers will recall an ad for a brand of jeans mysteriously called “live in jeans”, it was but a step away from a currently popular form of marriage – a live in relationship, the salient feature of which is you not only live in your jeans, but you also exchange them, without a commitment to return the favour! The one positive take away from this phenomenon, is stability in the divorce rate - A break up is not a divorce statistic.

The original purpose of Matrimony was to transit from polygamy to Partnership. In the context of the skewed gender ratio in India at 962::1000, it was an important transition. Procreation was another visible and natural objective. The latter has received very little encouragement from the government for obvious reasons. Urban couples too have taken the Govt.’s mission to heart and have developed their very own innovative, self sustaining philosophies – The DINK (Double income no kids) and the DIOK (Double income one kid) depending upon their circumstances and entertainment options.

The Family unit too has changed its form – from the natural and renewable to the nuclear – despite the hazards of overheating and a meltdown. Now it’s but a single unit of two to a max of four.  Good for census taking, but difficult for day to day management. The Support system has eroded, but the beauty is, that they have learned to cope.

In India, Marriage is a celebration of gigantic proportions as evidenced by the serials Band Baaja Bride and the Big Fat Indian Wedding. It is unmatched by the joy de vivre that follows a birth in the family or the ceremonies that follow death, the two most unanticipated events in human life.

But, unlike in the west, where it is a union of individuals, in India, it is a union of families, and despite the geographical distance between their locations post marriage, they exert covert, overt and sublime influence on the relationship and decision making process in the family unit.  It is known, expected, difficult to subsume and often a cause for divorce or, a loveless union. On the positive side, there is an opportunity for support, sharing and sense.

Marriage is great for partnership, procreation and purity. I love being married. As Rita Rudner so nicely put it - It’s so great to have found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Expectations are high, disappointments, equally high, and compromises are limited. These are challenges of a society in transition from the traditional to the modern.

It’s time to leave you seasoned married couples to your marriages – But I can’t resist leaving you with a piece of advice for the promised compatible companionship, gleaned from a reading of Martin Luther – “Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”

An Interview with Santa Claus

 An Interview with Santa Claus - Daijiworld

Santa Claus, also known as Saint Nicholas, Father Christmas, or simply "Santa", is a figure with legendary, mythical, historical and folkloric origins who, in all the cultures of the world, brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve, in December. Santa Claus is generally depicted as an ageless portly, joyous, white-bearded man - sometimes with spectacles - wearing a red coat with white collar and cuffs, white-cuffed red trousers, and black leather belt and boots, a flowing white beard and mustache almost covering his ever smiling lips.

According to tradition, Santa Claus lives at the North Pole, with a large number of magical elves, and nine flying reindeer with whose help, Santa Claus has been believed to make a list of children throughout the world, categorizing them according to their behavior ("naughty" or "nice") and to deliver presents, including toys, and candy to all of the “well-behaved” children in the world, and sometimes coal to the naughty children, on the single night of Christmas Eve. He is supposed to accomplish this feat with the aid of the elves who make the toys in the workshop and the reindeer that pull his sleigh.

Is he really like that, or is that his stage persona? I decided to find out. Does he too, like all of us, constantly wear a mask? Christmas was approaching and I thought, unmasking the Santa, would make for a good news story. But I was in for the surprise of my life.

I requested a meeting via email – SantaKlaus@heaven.com. I was taken up to heaven (not the North Pole as is widely believed) by angels with wings on their backs, each one of them holding an arm – a delightful experience that lasted (sadly) for only a couple of minutes. I was taken straight to his office. I was wearing my best suit and was feeling a little out of place in an office that was frugal - a desk and a chair for Santa, and a couple for visitors. The room was circular and had a rather airy and pleasant atmosphere, I realized, that came from the almost seamless open windows that circumscribed the room. I looked around, and curiously peeked outside. I realized that I was looking into white clouds and I became apprehensive about the time the angels gently put me down to attend to their other duties. Fortunately I found myself on firm cloud. Santa was reclining in his chair, looking a little weary – but still his joyous smiling self – the eternal optimist. And yes he looked exactly like tradition described him. And going by the equipment surrounding him, he was fully into cloud computing.

The Interview

Me: Morning Santa. Pleasure to meet you. Heard about you, never had the opportunity to meet you. May be when I was a child, I missed you on a couple of occasions. But thank you for consenting to meet with me and for this interview.

Santa: (Smiling) Welcome, it’s a pleasure. The Media is an important part of our plans for this year, to extend our reach, reinforce Brand Santa and attract more children to our cause.

Me: And that is?

Santa: (Still smiling – at my ignorance) Spreading the message of Jesus.. love your neighbor and show that you care by sharing..

Me: But Santa, I must ask. How can children do that, they are just interested in the toys and gifts that you bring, and the fun and laughter that you symbolize.

Santa: (a fond expression that cannot be described, shining through his eyes) You will be surprised by how the message of Jesus touches children. Many of the toys and gifts that I distribute are given by those that can afford them. They send them to me and tell me that they should be given to a specific orphanage / special child or friend in difficulty. Some just leave it to my office to choose. But even those children that have very little to give, send in their gifts. These children are so so special to me. There was this one child from India who sent me ten balloons and accompanied it with an instructional note to blow them up and leave them in the pediatric cancer ward in a hospital in her town. A strange but compassionate request. I did exactly as instructed. I was actually drawn back to the hospital the next day to see the outcome of my efforts, and was overwhelmed to see the happiness and joy among the children in the ward. By the way, I went invisible when I visited the next day. I have that privilege!

So the children of this world do think about their neighbor as much as they do about themselves. The world can still be saved – That’s what my mentor Jesus keeps telling me. Though I myself am a little skeptical. He was down there a long time ago. I keep visiting every year.

Me: Santa, there is a question I must ask and I hope you won’t mind. My readers will not forgive me if I don’t. So here goes... Do you, as is widely believed down below, make a distinction between nice and naughty children and do you actually deny them your blessings?

Santa: (with a naughty look on his face) Children are born innocent, but are by age and nature, naughty. Some, more than others, in that they don’t conform or don’t fall into patterns set for, or expected of them by their parents or society. But they too love Jesus and Jesus loves them, does he not? Can I make a distinction? No. But the message must go across and the only way is through an expression of love and caring from their parents and their favorite hero around this time of the year – Santa. So the answer is a firm no. I don’t make a distinction. But I’ve noticed a tug on their conscience when they’ve opened their gifts. So my method does work.

Me: Santa, from where I come, children continue to believe that it’s Santa that brings them gifts on Christmas Eve, sliding down the chimney or crawling through an open window or even coming through walls into their homes. You and I know that you pass on these gifts through their loved ones - parents, friends and family that does it. How do you maintain the legend?

Santa: (Smiling) I don’t. It's people like you who do. Human beings, unlike us up here want something or someone to take the away the humdrum of routine. They need a figure, a crutch on which to lean on, in times of trouble. Both children and their parents look up to me to provide them with an opportunity to bring joy into their lives and the lives of those around them at least for that one night and day in December. Have you seen anyone refusing to shake hands with Santa? Or refusing a gift from him or failing to return his smile? Or not welcoming him into his home? If you treat your neighbor as Santa the world will be a different place, will it not? So it’s you who want to believe in Santa and rely on him to provide cheer and joy and not the other way around. The legend will go on. as you people tend to forget Jesus Message of love and brotherhood very quickly and conveniently.

Me: Isn’t it hard work Santa? Visiting so many homes in one night? How do you manage the logistics?

Santa: (the tired look is now back on his face) Lots of work goes into preparing for my journeys across the earth. I’m lucky that I have so many people here in heaven to help me out in sifting through the letters, chalking out the distribution programme, receiving and packing the gifts and then sending me on my way.. The task is humongous both in terms of number of children and the distances involved – all to be done in a limited period across different time zones. There are over half a billion children under the age of 14 (I avoid visiting homes with children above 14 due to sheer work load) in the world who are expected to celebrate Christmas on December 25th. In other words, I have to deliver presents to almost 22 million kids an hour, every hour, on the night before Christmas. That's about 3,65,000 kids a minute; about 6,100 a second. Totally doable!

Luckily not all countries celebrate Christmas on December 25. There is January 5th. That's the day I have most of the night to hit parts of Russia, Georgia and the Ukraine before Eastern Orthodox celebrations on the twelfth Night. This calendar shift takes about 11.5 million kids out of the line-up on the 24th, meaning that on the 5th I can do a leisurely 800,000 kids an hour.

Not all children that celebrate Christmas are Christian. The secular elements of Christmas are extremely appealing: a tree in the house? Gifts? Cake and Candy? I have to get into each house that has a Christmas tree and a star at its approach. So add 5%. Luckily, I do get more than 24 hours especially as there are only 9 hours of light in New York on the 24th.

And last but not the least I do have my co conspirators – Parents and Loved ones who do help me out, if I fall behind.

Me: The number of kids keeps growing every year doesn’t it? How do you cope with the increasing costs and current economic crisis?

Santa: (with a serious expression for the first time in the Interview) ah, that is an important and relevant question. Parents and Elders on earth are very helpful. When they go through tough times due to a variety of human created crises, parents often tell their children, not too expect too many gifts from Santa. I keep my ear to the ground, and I get fewer gifts to distribute from the people of the world. We don’t want to impose a divine intervention, although we could if we so desired, and I therefore, reduce the number of gifts I give each child during such times. The best part is that, while the parents do whine and complain, I have never heard a word of misgiving from any child. They are just happy to share the Christmas spirit.

Me: Do you write back to the children? Or do you hear from them after you visit and leave them gifts?

Santa: (smiling) I am available on Email, What’s app, Face book, Twitter and other social media. Children too, are now very tech savvy and are constantly in touch with me on my Cloud Computing network. I do try and answer every mail or post that is on my social media pages or messages on my Phone, but my time is limited and I do miss out on quite a few. However there is a special mail that I received last year on the 30th. Let me read it for you: I have it here somewhere, (Searches through the mail on his computer)

Dear Santa,

I waited up for you on Christmas Eve. I wanted to see you come into my house on a sled with your elves and reindeer pulling you. I wanted to pat them and run my hands through their fur. And your beard Santa, your flowing beard, I wanted to run my fingers through it and hoped you would pat me on the head with your gloved fingers and bless me with the gifts I was expecting. And then I would give you a big hug. My Mom kept on telling me to go to sleep and that she would wake me up when you came.. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was morning.and I saw the gifts you had left behind near the Christmas tree. I was both, disappointed and delighted. And then I had a big fight with my mom as to why she didn’t wake me up. She said. I too fell asleep. Next Year I promised myself I will stay awake when you come. And then I found a piece of your beard. Did you keep it for me Santa? knowing that I wanted to run my fingers thru it?. I’ve kept it safely under my pillow. for when you come next year.

Love you
Arun

Me: Santa, if you don’t mind, shall we get on to a slightly different subject? You are considered a close confidant of the Almighty, part of His inner circle, and a favorite, if I may say so. What are his views on the civil strife, crime and the wars between nations?

Santa: (looking rather sad) what has changed? During Jesus’s time on earth, the situation was the same if not worse. Human beings have evolved and progressed, and the pursuit of and greed for wealth and power over the earth, over fellow human beings and the flora and fauna of the world has depleted the humaneness that God had inbuilt into each one of you. I am not clear as to what end this pursuit is for – Some do it for the greater glory of God, some for the greater glory of their nation, province, community, race and religion, and some purely for themselves.

Me: So is there a solution to this or will it continue?

Santa: (Pensive) God is concerned. It was expected that there will be deviations from the created norm, that’s why you are human, but the extent has exceeded even our imagination. But we don’t sit idle. Every year God, through his various angels, saints, clergy, the institution of the family, and me. He tries to spread his message of love and brotherhood, even using modern methodology like the TV and the internet. but it does appear that Satan is often far ahead of us and we have to catch up with him. Often a grim reminder is necessary to remind you all that a human being cannot be separated from his humanity – that’s why the periodical earthquakes, famines, tsunamis and the like. They are just gentle reminders and they never fail to remind you on earth that love and brotherhood can never be replaced by fame, fortune or power.


Me: You never seem to age. So how old are you actually? And what is your secret? I’m sure all of us on earth would like to know...

Santa: (Laughs) certainly more than 14 years old. There’s no secret in my longevity. It’s the love of the children that keep me going.

Me: Thank you Santa for such a wide ranging and honest exchange of thoughts. A couple of quick ones to end our conversation. How do you celebrate Christmas here in heaven? And what is your favorite Christmas carol Santa?

Santa: (guffaws) Just like you do down there on earth. Eat, Pray, Love. And my favorite Christmas Carol has to be “Santa Claus is coming to town.”

Me: Thank you Santa. I will disseminate your message in the world as much as possible.

The return journey was uneventful. As I promised Santa, I am spreading his message through this article.

A Mangalorean Fishy Tale

 A mangalorean fishy tale - Daijiworld

News Item on November 26, 2012:

"London, A 31-year-old Pakistani fish seller Mohamed Said Nazi at a London fish market seems like an unlikely pop star. But the moment he starts to sing his “One Pound Fish Song", he is suddenly surrounded by a sea of fans. (Watch video -http://youtu.be/ETSl8gWsFZ0). The you tube video has more than 3.6 million views. On his first day at the fish stall, his boss told him to shout to customers to get their attention. He said he did not like shouting, and so made up a song."

This news item got me thinking...


I love fish. Not in a glass bowl, but on my plate, dead, cut and colorful. Not medium and rare, but full and abundant! After all I am a Mangalorean. It’s been staple food, from the age of two – I am told, (I don’t remember, I’m not one of those prodigies). It’s good for health, good for the heart, and definitely good for my butt – The Wallet normally stuffed in back pocket automatically gets leaner by the day.

Fish, like human beings come in all shapes, sizes, tastes and textures. At the local nearby markets, plenty is available, but it’s limited in variety, and only available at a marked up price to cover sweat equity! Good for a daily buy, for those with limited transport options.  The best place for a monthly buy remains the old classic – the place where it all starts – the wharf at bunder.

So off I went. Interesting place, located further down the coast from the new port at Panambur, a buzz of activity, and a sea of humanity, male and female, the male generally in charge of the selling and the ladies – mostly fishmongers in various markets in Mangalore in charge of buying. And then there is the aam aadmi, vying with them, unfairly they say, to grab a slice of that limited fish pie.

Normally, my wife accompanies me on my visits. This occasion was an exception. It was holiday time, albeit revision holiday time, for my son - time to start his apprenticeship, for the shape of things to come.

So here we were actually in the midst of it all, one bright early morning, motoring our way along the winding road to Bunder. It was late November and the fish consumption season was well into its second month after the three month ban on fishing during the monsoon... for safety and to help them get time to breed. (In the UK, during an exceptionally cold winter a couple of years ago, that’s exactly what happened – but among human beings). There wasn’t a hint of a cloud and the sun was just beginning to burn the neck... when we reached our destination. On the way in, at a natural bottleneck in the road, where normally you could expect to find the traffic inspector, we were billed a rupee to permit us entering the forbidden kingdom during peak hour!

There were puddles of water all around and the aroma was arresting. We really had to be careful about what we stepped into. So we gingerly stepped around the puddles, following a common rule - Look down, for you might step into a puddle and then look up – lest you rub shoulders or anything else... with the low but mighty – reminded me of the Mumbai locals.

After one circuit of the dockyard, we soon realized that we were out of our depth.... There was this solidly built guy towering above two rather tall seer fish and surrounded by an army of people … all ears to his lilting voice in the local dialect, as he started auctioning them off - kick off was at 900. With pad and pen in hand, he looked around. Bids, at an incremental rate of Rs: 50 per bid, poured in, merely by the nod of the head, or the blink of the eye. Eye to Eye contact took the price to Rs: 1350 and after 3 calls and a pen pointed at my neighbor, the king (fish) was gone. I walked away – my wallet was pinching me from behind.

Yes, I did walk away, but couldn’t really go back home empty handed. So I went around the dockyard, gingerly skipping the puddles, the crowds, and the fish on the floor, stopping at most auctions on the way. On my travels, I came across a mixed lot of fish including mackerels, pomfrets and a small silvery fish that looked interesting but unknown..... Made a bid and upped it with my gently nodding head and a blink of the eye, until I realized that I was being taken up the bid tree, by a parallel  set of communication that was going on between my neighbor (a ldy fishmonger) and the auctioneer. It was well that I picked up the signals early on in the game - I could continue sit uncomfortably on my butt....

Having walked away from a potential deal and needing a face saver, I looked around for my son who was himself busy looking around for his favorite – squid. He found them heaped a little distance away. He called me over, frustrated with the limited outcome of our exertions in the auction market. I was not far behind at throwing in the towel, already disappointed, disheartened and disillusioned. Getting a good break at the wharf, can give you a high, that exercise or even a swig of black label cannot. And vice versa can easily lead you into depression. A high was not to be. At least today. Anyway, given, that I was caught between a rock and a hard place, I decided to take the easy way out - pick up a little from outside the auction, obviously at a little higher price than what I may have got at the auction – and as I reflect on the day, I will perforce have to recall the CAG's theory, principle and calculation of presumptive loss.....

Anyway, to cut a long story short, that’s when I landed up with the blue tinged king. It was lying on the ground and was being marketed and promoted by it’s rather thin owner, wearing the straw hat of the Caribbean, who advised me that it was a great eat – if you cook it right. It was not something I had seen before. It had a blue tinge around its gills, tail and fins. It was rather thick around the middle, and had a big mouth. Like many of us, it couldn’t keep it shut, even when out of breath! There was a Laurel to the Hardy - a long silvery fish that seemed without a backbone. Despite our dialogue, I couldn’t get the names right, due to the noise, confusion and my eagerness to depart the scene. He offered it for less than a couple of hundred, and like all us, with their hearts in their wallets, I lapped up the offer. It did sound a bit fishy, but at the time, it sounded like a lifeline for a guy at the end of his rope. I picked them up and took them home hopeful that it was not another 2F Scam. Reached home and unloaded the bag.

As they popped out of the bag, the blue one, firm to the touch, and looking to me, fresh as a daisy can be early morn, started to give off a pungent smell, one that must have been masked by the atmosphere at the wharf, but now emerging as a potential star in its own right. One cut into its flesh and the smell that emanated, took over the kitchen.

She screamed. Scary Movie 4 had begun. I felt and looked sheepish. My son had disappeared from the scene fearing blame and retribution. Now totally disillusioned, I packed it into the same bag in which I had brought it, and quickly proceeded to dispose it off. I resolved never to make the same mistake again.

I realized then, that I was penny wise, but pound foolish. It has not been always like that. In fact more often than not, it’s been the other way around. But it’s a good story, a great experience and something to tell the grandchildren... when they arrive.

Motivation - Why Do We Do What We Do, When We Do?

 Motivation - Daijiworld 

During the winter session of Parliament, it was stalled for a week over the holding of a debate on FDI in retail issue. Motives of both sides of the political divide were questioned by the other side.

There have been a number of suicides in the recent past from 13 year old children committing suicide after being scolded at school, to a young girl that jumped of the 2nd floor of the St. Joseph’s college in Bangalore during a pre university exam after being caught copying, and the recent famous case of Nurse Jacinta. Did they have a motivation to die? Or did they lose the motivation to live? Difficult question to answer.

We have the case of Amanat, who was brutally beaten, raped and murdered in a moving bus in Delhi. What was the motive for the crime? While discovering the motive may not be important for a conviction, intent is, and motive is a very important ingredient of intent.

Lastly I want to ask each one of you to reflect deeply on why you behave as you do in any given situation - what propels / compels your actions or behavior (they are one and the same)? Do you realize and understand your motivation?

Rarely do we reflect on the causes of our behavior or actions, and because we don’t do that often enough, we are forced to reflect on effects of our actions.

How does Motivation contribute to our lives?

What does motivation do for us?  It provides us with direction (we become goal driven) Intensity (We generate a passion for what we do) and Persistence (Perseverance) in what we do.

Most of all it inculcates positivity as opposed to negativity and activity as opposed to apathy in our lives. Ultimately it helps us fulfill our needs, whatever they may be. I would therefore call it as they do in the CIA, RAW and ISI, actionable Intelligence.

What is Motivation?

Motivation is an idea, belief, or emotion that impels us to act in accordance with that state of mind. To put it simply, Motives drive intent, and intent drives action. Motivation is the answer to the question “Why we do what we do?”

The word motivation is coined from the Latin word "movere", which means to move.   It’s a driver. Like the printer driver, display driver, or even the bus driver - it helps convert need into intent and intent into action.

Our actions and behavior will tell another, all he needs to know about us and except what motivated those actions.  He can imagine and empathize, sympathize and understand all he wants, all he can, but he will never really know, because like our conscience, motivation resides in us and is not visible. What is visible, is the possible intent and the action.

Whom can we call motivated?

Observe an individual’s action and behavior.  A motivated individual willingly wants to do what he does, and while doing so, gives it his best shot. He has a definite sense of belonging and pride in the task at hand and the organization / institution that mandates that task.  He also contributes to the improvement of task / institutional performance. A live example is Sachem Tendulkar or a Leander Paes playing for the country in their respective sport.

Motivation is Dynamic

But motivation is not static; it’s dynamic and complex in the extreme.  It adapts to situations and often most of us are not aware of our motivation at that moment as you are unaware now as to why you are reading this article! – until you dwell on it.

Motivation Theory – the complex explanation

Like all known psychological aspects of our being and existence, theories abound, some scholarly, some pedestrian, and some commonsensical. These theories can be classified broadly from two different perspectives: Content and Process theories. Content Theories deal with “what” motivates people and it is concerned with individual needs and goals. Maslow, Alderfer, Herzberg and McCelland studied motivation from a “content” perspective. Process Theories deal with the “process” of motivation and is concerned with “how” motivation occurs.  Vroom, Porter & Lawler, Adams and Locke studied motivation from a “process” perspective, basically the relationship between actions and rewards.

In the end, both these theories provide us with pointers as to why we do what we do, when we do it.  These theories demonstrate that there are many explanations for motivation, but none that is universally accepted.

Motivation – a simple explanation

Having gone through the various theories, reflected on how they affect our behavior and decision making process, I have come to this simple explanation which is combination of the what and how of motivation, which can be easily understood and applied to every moment of our life – Why we do what we do, is a fine balancing act between hope of a benefit and the fear of a consequence.

Hope of a benefit stems from satisfaction of needs – Its intrinsic. Physiological, Safety, and  the three Psycho Emotional / Social needs – the three A’s - Acceptance (of self and by others), Affiliation, and Achievement – the satisfaction of overcoming challenges to ones abilities and attaining the Power to influence and control others. These are intrinsic needs and are connected extrinsically to a benefit structure – satisfaction of needs and external status and reward.

Oh, the satisfaction we get, when our status or photograph is “Liked” and commented favorably upon on Face book – We are accepted into the fold.  The more no. of friends we have, the greater our affiliation, and a happy picture or an updated status is an achievement!  And the corollary to these higher needs satisfaction – Rejection, Loneliness, Submissiveness and subjugation, if we fail to get the benefit we hoped for (satisfy our needs, be they physiological, safety or psycho social needs). Be prepared for it. That’s when the depression and addiction kicks in.  It may seem like a very simple explanation, but believe me, it is a very effective one.

What about the fear of consequences? – What are the consequences of our actions to fulfill our needs?  Do they outweigh the benefits thereto? They are extrinsic and are the negatives – mostly related to punishment and the negative aspects of life like disease, death, social boycott, or similar such negative reactions to actions undertaken to fulfill needs. Why do people talk about deterrence? Strong laws and harsher punishments.  They would like to ensure that the fear of the consequence will outweigh the hope of a benefit.

Let’s take the case of an extra marital affair. The partners in crime, calculate the benefits and consequences, and indulge in a limited /one time engagement, fully blown separation, even divorce. Friends I know of, have become alcohol / drug addicts, some from a very early age, and I often wonder why -  are they motivated or demotivated? Do they not fear the consequences of their actions and behavior or does the benefit outweigh the consequences? I believe that they go with hope of benefit accruing, however short term that might be in comparison to the long term consequences.  Can that be changed? Yes it can.

It’s always been a fine balance and there is always a tipping point as Malcolm Gladwell says, that ultimately determines our actions or behavior.  The secret is to recognize it and take a sustainable decision in favor of the right balance.  Unfortunately we are seldom even aware of the tipping point till after the event.

Self Awareness / Reflection are a powerful tool in understanding our and other’s motivation or lack of it. Once we do that, we start to exercise self control over the tipping point and therein lay the secret of motivation within self and among others. There are many ways of motivating the self and others around us. Some of them are

1. Intrinsic process — motivated by FUN
2. Instrumental — motivated by REWARDS
3. Self-Concept-External — motivated by REPUTATION
4. Self-Concept-Internal — motivated by CHALLENGE
5. Goal Internalization — motivated by the cause or PURPOSE

We must start to reflect on our actions of yesterday and regulate tomorrow after balancing the hope of a benefit or the fear of a consequence!